Bully coaches....

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Why do parents put up with coaches who continually personally berate and belittle kids/teens?
Is soccer that important?

My D just stepped off last night...she's had it and we support her

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Is it a stars coach? I read here they are bad.

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Is it a stars coach? I read here they are bad.

I'm not going to name the club or coach until we've spoke to him/her personally.

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Is it a stars coach? I read here they are bad.

Don't ever take anything you read on TS too seriously. It's the perfect forum to push agendas and bash your competitors. You may actually be a Stars competitor pretending to be a parent. See how that works?

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I'm not going to name the club or coach until we've spoke to him/her personally.

IF you're even a legitimate parent, don't name them. Show some class. Bad apples are eventually shown the door. And don't talk with him, talk to the club. They're the employer and you write the checks to them.

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Is it a stars coach? I read here they are bad.

I've heard that too. We have friends there. And it's frustrating because the Stars fields are 15 minutes from us. But we've never considered it due to what we've heard.

In regards to my friends staying, they seem a bit brainwashed. Constantly defending the negative coach comments but also complaining about how the players are treated. It's very weird.

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Hard to give a real answer without the whole situation....

But... I'll make a few comments.

Our club has one coach who is hard. Now, I know him from other previous endeavors, so my opinion admittedly is a bit slanted. But, I've seen him make kids cry. My daughter included, right in the middle of a game.

Her and I talked after, and what I explained, and she finally got, was that he isn't yelling AT her, but yelling TO her. We went through everything said, and why, and she understood. This was U10, I think. After that, she never had an issue with him, even when she was on the wrong end of some slack. She is they type of kid who will take every inch given to her; this coach won't allow it. He, without a doubt, got the most out of her.

Some kids have left because they didn't like it. Some kids wish they had him back. I grew up with hard coaches, so it's never bothered me to see it now. As long as it's not personal, I don't see it as a problem

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IF you're even a legitimate parent, don't name them. Show some class. Bad apples are eventually shown the door. And don't talk with him, talk to the club. They're the employer and you write the checks to them.

Talking to the club gets you nowhere at a big club. We tried and eventually left.

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IF you're even a legitimate parent, don't name them. Show some class. Bad apples are eventually shown the door. And don't talk with him, talk to the club. They're the employer and you write the checks to them.

OP here, definitely legit parent. I agree that it wouldn't be the classiest thing to do, but I think it's time parents call out knuckleheads who are abusive. It's not tolerated in the workplace and shouldn't be tolerated in youth sports.

For those who ascribe this to the "wussification" of sports, there's a fine line between criticism and bullying/abusive. Screaming and demeaning is not coaching.

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OP here, definitely legit parent. I agree that it wouldn't be the classiest thing to do, but I think it's time parents call out knuckleheads who are abusive. It's not tolerated in the workplace and shouldn't be tolerated in youth sports.

For those who ascribe this to the "wussification" of sports, there's a fine line between criticism and bullying/abusive. Screaming and demeaning is not coaching.

Agreed there's a difference between yelling for the sake of yelling with no message vs yelling with purpose (some people are just loud). Most coaches don't realize that. There's no place for demeaning kids ever.

Calling out people on an anonymous forum? Would you want your name on here with no way to really prove yourself? Tell people in real life - it carries more weight

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Agreed there's a difference between yelling for the sake of yelling with no message vs yelling with purpose (some people are just loud). Most coaches don't realize that. There's no place for demeaning kids ever.

Calling out people on an anonymous forum? Would you want your name on here with no way to really prove yourself? Tell people in real life - it carries more weight

You raise good points. I'll hold off on outing the club and coach.

I'll leave it at this: Parents, watch how coaches treat your kids. If you wouldn't scream and demean them, coaches should not either. There's simply no place for it.

If you see something, say something. Kids should not hate playing soccer when this is all over.

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You raise good points. I'll hold off on outing the club and coach.

I'll leave it at this: Parents, watch how coaches treat your kids. If you wouldn't scream and demean them, coaches should not either. There's simply no place for it.

If you see something, say something. Kids should not hate playing soccer when this is all over.

Been there - my kid almost didn't make it. Got lucky that the coach got sacked just in time. I literally was sending out emails to other clubs to try and find him another spot. It can crush a kids' love of the game. Being tough but fair is one thing. Hurling insults or just screaming to be heard will get you no where in the long run.

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A few comments:

Belittling such as "What is wrong with you? Why can't you do that like so and so? Are you stupid? etc....". No place for any of this.

Constructive criticism whether it be at practice or in a game, fine. If my kid keeps doing something wrong in a game after being corrected I am fine with the coach yelling a bit within reason.

Not treated them all equally is not OK either. Having favorites is clear to the kids, I am dealing with this now though not a major problem. I agree with playing those who are working hard and are great players. But those comments that go with it are a bit much. "She is just so good", "Look at her, she is playing up in the U14 game this weekend!". That's all fantastic but the kids get tired of that.

[Unregistered]

A few comments:

Belittling such as "What is wrong with you? Why can't you do that like so and so? Are you stupid? etc....". No place for any of this.

Constructive criticism whether it be at practice or in a game, fine. If my kid keeps doing something wrong in a game after being corrected I am fine with the coach yelling a bit within reason.

Not treated them all equally is not OK either. Having favorites is clear to the kids, I am dealing with this now though not a major problem. I agree with playing those who are working hard and are great players. But those comments that go with it are a bit much. "She is just so good", "Look at her, she is playing up in the U14 game this weekend!". That's all fantastic but the kids get tired of that.

Don't disagree...but...and there's always a but....

I've seen hard coaches treat kids differently. Basically, they coach to the individual, and some kids may get upset because he was yelled at, and someone else wasn't. That's because he expects more out of some vs. others.

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Don't disagree...but...and there's always a but....

I've seen hard coaches treat kids differently. Basically, they coach to the individual, and some kids may get upset because he was yelled at, and someone else wasn't. That's because he expects more out of some vs. others.

Or could be also that the players he/she doesn't yell at are doing what they are supposed to do within the game plan.