Bullying in Club Soccer

[Unregistered]

great video on bullying, especially the first part

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0A-pTcP9CjE

Love this. Thank you for sharing! The sad thing is I see some of this on every field in every sport where my children play. Nothing to this extreme, but you get the idea. So sad really.

[Unregistered]

I can't wait until the day that I never have to step foot on a club soccer field again. My daughter feels differently. She loves her team. On most days, loves her coach, or at least appreciates that although he may be a total jerk, that he is a good coach. He is definitely a bully. So we constantly communicate about how his actions are not okay and that his statements are ridiculous and we focus on the soccer. Everything else is overlooked because this is what my daughter wants and she feels it will help her reach her goals. It is all under control for us, but I have seen many girls and boys crumble in this environment. And sorry to Mr. "I don't like the word bully being used" - it is all bullying.

We had a similar experience with a coach, who certainly knew how to train soccer players, but did not know how to treat kids. However, at the end of the year we no longer had our child play for that coach.
I am curious to know what you will do with your child....continue to subject her to a 'total jerk....bully...' or move on.

[Unregistered]

We had a similar experience with a coach, who certainly knew how to train soccer players, but did not know how to treat kids. However, at the end of the year we no longer had our child play for that coach.
I am curious to know what you will do with your child....continue to subject her to a 'total jerk....bully...' or move on.

I posted the video (although truthfully I think it was on another TS thread) because the first part especially hit home with me. My son started at a club two years ago that had a reputation of being pretty tough but also that they were great trainers, yada yada. It was rough enough at his age bracket and only got worse as players got older. A few parents were just nuts. One year was enough for us. Bullying may be too strong a word to describe his coach but he sure was a screamer. It had nothing to do with paying time or ability - he was an equal opportunity yeller. Plenty of other options out there and he's thrilled with his new club/team. Respectful coaches and parents.

[Unregistered]

Does it happen? If so, is it the fault of the players and parents or the coaches? What role do the coaches have in promoting it or stopping it?

Doesn't exist, unless your kid sucks. Then it's warranted.

[Unregistered]

I can't wait until the day that I never have to step foot on a club soccer field again. My daughter feels differently. She loves her team. On most days, loves her coach, or at least appreciates that although he may be a total jerk, that he is a good coach. He is definitely a bully. So we constantly communicate about how his actions are not okay and that his statements are ridiculous and we focus on the soccer. Everything else is overlooked because this is what my daughter wants and she feels it will help her reach her goals. It is all under control for us, but I have seen many girls and boys crumble in this environment. And sorry to Mr. "I don't like the word bully being used" - it is all bullying.

Your approach is to make the best of a sometimes bad situation, which is entirely understandable, given that your player is loyal to her teammates and obviously cares for them, if not always her coach. You acknowledge the need to communicate regularly with your player about what is and is not acceptable from coach and club in terms of behavior, speech, or whatever the case may be. That is also respectable, but I can't help still feeling a bit sorry for you and your player, because the experience of club soccer can and should be better than what you report experiencing. Unfortunately, until the people who recognize there is a problem begin to vote with their feet, the situation is unlikely to improve, either for you or for the younger and more impressionable players that are coming along after you. And that's too bad.

Please understand, I'm not trying to be judgmental, as I'm not 100% sure what I'd do if I found myself and my kid in the same situation. Good luck to both of you.

[Unregistered]

Your approach is to make the best of a sometimes bad situation, which is entirely understandable, given that your player is loyal to her teammates and obviously cares for them, if not always her coach. You acknowledge the need to communicate regularly with your player about what is and is not acceptable from coach and club in terms of behavior, speech, or whatever the case may be. That is also respectable, but I can't help still feeling a bit sorry for you and your player, because the experience of club soccer can and should be better than what you report experiencing. Unfortunately, until the people who recognize there is a problem begin to vote with their feet, the situation is unlikely to improve, either for you or for the younger and more impressionable players that are coming along after you. And that's too bad.

Please understand, I'm not trying to be judgmental, as I'm not 100% sure what I'd do if I found myself and my kid in the same situation. Good luck to both of you.

I totally appreciate your opinion. For us, the positives have outweighed the negatives. My child is hard working, motivated, and dedicated to her sport. She has great friendships with amazing travel experiences and a D1 scholarship. So for us, it has been fine, but it has been hard watching others shrivel in the system. For those folks, there comes a time when they should walk away. My daughter was always able to keep things in perspective.

[Unregistered]

FYI....#20 and #21 are both BTNT. He thinks he is very clever. He is just incapable of letting go. In this instance, it's the old normalize while damaging routine, with the emphasis on damage. And the introductory over-the-top thank you is another transparent signal.

[Unregistered]

FYI....#20 and #21 are both BTNT. He thinks he is very clever. He is just incapable of letting go. In this instance, it's the old normalize while damaging routine, with the emphasis on damage. And the introductory over-the-top thank you is another transparent signal.

Who cares if it's BTNT? Stop analyzing every post to see if it has the markings of a BTNT post. Nobody cares.

[Unregistered]

Who cares if it's BTNT? Stop analyzing every post to see if it has the markings of a BTNT post. Nobody cares.

Actually, they do--obviously including you, BTNT.

[Unregistered]

Except that neither were actually BTNT

--BTNT

[Unregistered]

Except that neither were actually BTNT

--BTNT

Sorry, BTNT: total loss of credibility is a bitch.

Here's what happened. You more or less acknowledged viewing TS, and youth soccer generally, as a state of nature where no rules apply--which is your justification for lying, distorting, fictionalizing, and attacking at will. While this may have had its uses for you at one time, that time has long passed--since everyone knows that nothing you say can be trusted.

This is unfortunate, since occasionally you probably do have some actual insight. Oh well.

[Unregistered]

Perspective, you psycho, everyone wishes you would just go away.

[Unregistered]

Perspective, you psycho, everyone wishes you would just go away.

Except it wasn't Perspective.

[Unregistered]

Legit discussions are one thing. When the same messages are repeated over and over and over in as many ways someone can dream up then we're talking about a 24/7 campaign of pure hatred. Which is not OK, and which should be thwarted to every degree possible.

[Unregistered]

Perspective, you psycho, everyone wishes you would just go away.

Actually, a puss-infected genital skin rash is what Perspective really deserves.