How to motivate a 11 y.o. to play the best he can?

[Unregistered]

See what the coach says. I'm the poster with the levelheaded response. The coach told me my son was the strongest player on the field, but wasn't aggressive en. At u12 that coach would only play him 15 min. A game, which was part of why my son wasn't confident. (To the poster who said high level club doesn't play to win, you couldn't be more wrong -- unfortunately).

Many coaches dont have kids, or know how to motivate young kids. Our coach wanted the 11 year olds to fight for playing time, and my son shut down.

My son is now in the college recruiting years and it is going really well, so you can come out of this and do just fine. But your son has to believe in himself, and believe he is a good player.

[Unregistered]

First read, I thought it was legit.


No U12 program lets kids rot on the bench for 2/3 of the time and, no, those games are not played to win, despite what the fools on here tell you.

Coaches do it all the time, even with players that young. I've raised three players and have been many clubs over the years. It's terrible how some coaches crush kids. almost all play to win - it helps them keep their jobs.

[Unregistered]

Some kids thrive when put into a challenging environment, some shut down. If your kid is enjoying training and you see improvement, keep up the encouragement and perhaps he'll hit his stride in the spring. Pulling him out to place at a lower level might actually harm his confidence. However, if he's not enjoying even the training and you feel he's not progressing due to timidity, then definitely drop him down a level over the winter. No reason to stifle his joy of the game in order to play on a top team.

Some kids just need some more time to find their inner strength too. The op's player is still very young. If he doesn't get satisfactory answers from the coach then moving down one level is a good plan. We had to do that once with one of ours (about that age too, maybe U12) and it was the best thing we could have done for her. Two years later she was back on top.

[Unregistered]

Coaches do it all the time, even with players that young. I've raised three players and have been many clubs over the years. It's terrible how some coaches crush kids. almost all play to win - it helps them keep their jobs.

While of course everyone wants to win. Why keep score otherwise.

But, any club with it's salt when it comes to development should be guaranteeing everyone 50% of the time, no matter the situation. If they were good enough to be rostered, they should be good enough to get half the game. I would run, as fast as possible, from any organization that feels otherwise.

Reality is if the question has to be asked how to motivate someone, then the reality is they should be doing something else. This won't be the first, nor last, kid who was good but didn't want to take the next step. Doesn't make them bad or anything, just means that when they come to the next level, they see the work they have to do and decide it's not for them.

[Unregistered]

Bamboo shoots rammed hard under the finger nails worked for my kid.

[Unregistered]

In soccer, confidence is everything. Build him up, dont tear him down.

This happened with my son, and, as the issue was in his head (and not a lack of skills) we consulted a sports psychologist. It did not take much at all to completely turn the situation around.

Put him in low pressure situations-- pick up games, messing in the yard. And talk to the coach. Benching an 11 year old will destroy the kid's confidence. Ask what he needs to do to get more playing time.

good post. I'd also recommend this book

https://www.amazon.com/Mind-Gym-Athl.../dp/0071395970

[Unregistered]

In soccer, confidence is everything. Build him up, dont tear him down.

This happened with my son, and, as the issue was in his head (and not a lack of skills) we consulted a sports psychologist. It did not take much at all to completely turn the situation around.

Put him in low pressure situations-- pick up games, messing in the yard. And talk to the coach. Benching an 11 year old will destroy the kid's confidence. Ask what he needs to do to get more playing time.

Hahahaha...a sports psychologist? Hahahaha
For an 11 yr old? Hahahaha

Wait until he can’t get a boner...

Says it all, America, don’t it.

[Unregistered]

Coaches do it all the time, even with players that young. I've raised three players and have been many clubs over the years. It's terrible how some coaches crush kids. almost all play to win - it helps them keep their jobs.

No, it gets them promoted.

Why can’t some kids just suck?

[Unregistered]

No, it gets them promoted.

Why can’t some kids just suck?

No kids don't suck - they're just not at the right level or right coach for them. Writing off a ten year old is a pretty shi**y thing to do. A club shouldn't take a player who isn't going to be a good fit, yet they do it all the time to help the bottom line.

[Unregistered]

My suggestion is to step back and let your son work it out, as tough as that may be.

I wouldn’t advise talking to the coach about play time. Play time is earned, and it’s up to him to earn it. Coaches of top u12 teams are looking for effort and drive to improve.

As long as you’re doing the basics (eg, showing up to all games and practices on time with correct equipment), after that it’s really up the kid, and interference from parents can backfire.

I also advise to not watch practices (if you are).

There is still a lot of the ‘soccer’ year left for him to turn things around!

[Unregistered]

My suggestion is to step back and let your son work it out, as tough as that may be.

I wouldn’t advise talking to the coach about play time. Play time is earned, and it’s up to him to earn it. Coaches of top u12 teams are looking for effort and drive to improve.

As long as you’re doing the basics (eg, showing up to all games and practices on time with correct equipment), after that it’s really up the kid, and interference from parents can backfire.

I also advise to not watch practices (if you are).

There is still a lot of the ‘soccer’ year left for him to turn things around!

Totally disagree on talking to the coach - there may be an issue the player isn't aware of or things he needs to work on. Without knowing he'll continue to flounder. At that age a parent should advocate for their player. Once they get a little older then they should be pushed to self advocate. If the coach can't give a substantive answer then it's more evidence that leaving is a good plan.

[Unregistered]

Totally disagree on talking to the coach - there may be an issue the player isn't aware of or things he needs to work on. Without knowing he'll continue to flounder. At that age a parent should advocate for their player. Once they get a little older then they should be pushed to self advocate. If the coach can't give a substantive answer then it's more evidence that leaving is a good plan.

Player should be fully aware at that age of any issues preventing him from playing. I still haven't seen anything that tells me this kid wants to be playing at this level.

[Unregistered]

This is what I would recommend.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHC_R7ATGuI

[Unregistered]

Player should be fully aware at that age of any issues preventing him from playing. I still haven't seen anything that tells me this kid wants to be playing at this level.

Are you some Oracle? Seriously stop the nonsense. Kids go through an adjustment period when they change clubs. Use the winter period for privates or 3 vs 3 pickup games. Encourage your kid every chance you have. Confidence is so important for players of all ages. Parents should advocate for their kids at this age. At 11, very few kids feel confident talking to a coach about what they need to improve. Any good club should have evaluations with the player and parent at the end of each season. If not, ask the coach for a meeting. The coach should be able to tell you where your player stand, his strengths/weaknesses and what he needs to do improve. If the coach makes excuses and can't find the time start looking for a new club.


Example of a player appraisal report:

FIRST TOUCH AND BALL CONTROL - the ability to control the ball quickly and effectively, in a composed manner, seldom losing possession.

PASSING - the ability to make short and medium length passes using the inside and outside of the foot. With effective weight and accuracy.

ABILITY UNDER PRESSURE - can the player maintain a consistent high level of performance when under pressure(time, physical and mental) and continue to protect the ball.

RUNNING WITH THE BALL - can the player demonstrate when to run with the ball and do so with pace and direction without losing possession.

1v1 MOVES - the player's overall ability to execute 1v1 moves, and to do so in the appropriate area of the pitch and relative to the development of the play with a consistent level of success.

GROUP ATTACKING - the player's application of the first principles of support, width and penetration, and ability to finish with limited number of touches.

GROUP DEFENDING - a player's ability to effectively close down opponents, remain patient and persistent, and also apply the first principles of compactness, cover and depth.

SPEED AND PACE - the ability to accomplish techniques quickly with efficient and fast movements in all areas of the field.

FOOTBALL INTELLIGENCE - the player's ability to assess game situations quickly and yet with composure in order to make intelligent decisions.

URGENCY AND ANTICIPATION - the player's reaction to game related events, and ability to anticipate these.

SPORTSMANSHIP - the conduct of the player at all times both on and off the field. Showing a fair, honest and supportive attitude at all times.

MOTIVATION - the player's enthusiasm and attitude to hard work, and the desire shown towards improvement and recover from mistakes.

ATTENDANCE - the player's commitment to attending all developmental training sessions.


Grades based on:
Exceeding expected level of development / Meeting the expected level of development / Requires further development in this area.

[Unregistered]

^^^

Yes. If there is a kid playing on a "top team in the Region" who has a ton of talent, then none of that should be an issue.

My D is in a similar boat. I am quite sure she could be better than she is, and she's in a very, very good program. You know what? She's perfectly happy being the player she is.

I keep my mouth shut and enjoy watching her play.