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    Supercomputer Prediction - Sour 2 - Special Edition

    Well you are absolutely right, we would be totally remiss for not including our FL ECNL friends in our predictions. As always, yes even for our FYSA club teams, we have added supplemental data to be inputted into the Supercomputer for this special match-up. We reviewed endless amounts of FL ECNL game tape and counted the number of times each parent on the sideline shouted to their coaches: "@!&*$#!!!!! When are FYSA club team tryouts this year!!!! So without further ado:

    Bracket I: OCYS ECNL vs WFF ECNL: These are without question the top two ECNL teams in Florida-those are irrefutable facts. The giants and pinnacles of Florida ECNL. These teams met twice this year and WFF convincingly won both 5-0. WFF finished 6th and OCYS finished 8th in the 5 team, sorry typo, 8 team Southeast Conference. By the statistics, we would certainly expect WFF to be the clear favorite in this re-match. But our ECNL soccer sources have told us that OCYS has ordered specially made cheerleader soccer uniforms and are planning on implementing the dreaded cheerleader pyramid formation (for those not following Supercomputer predictions as closely as OCYS coaches apparently are, this is the formation we previously mentioned where the team's players form a perfect pyramid in front of their own goal-historically no one has ever scored against it). Our ECNL sources have also told us that WFF coaches have countered by conducting practices in cow pastures and having their players shoot against bales of hay stacked neatly into pyramids.

    Supercomputer Prediction: PV or TBU, sorry another typo, 0-0 tie

    Key Game Statistic: Shots on goal WFF 503, OCYS 0

    It was decided by both teams not to continue into PKs to decide this one, as no college coaches could attend due to the match being Soccer Court Ordered, scheduled last minute by FYSA in a cow pasture. Our sources tell us that FL ECNL teams will only showcase themselves if 500 or more college coaches attend a match.

    As always good luck to all teams and safe travels.

    Comment


      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
      Well you are absolutely right, we would be totally remiss for not including our FL ECNL friends in our predictions. As always, yes even for our FYSA club teams, we have added supplemental data to be inputted into the Supercomputer for this special match-up. We reviewed endless amounts of FL ECNL game tape and counted the number of times each parent on the sideline shouted to their coaches: "@!&*$#!!!!! When are FYSA club team tryouts this year!!!! So without further ado:

      Bracket I: OCYS ECNL vs WFF ECNL: These are without question the top two ECNL teams in Florida-those are irrefutable facts. The giants and pinnacles of Florida ECNL. These teams met twice this year and WFF convincingly won both 5-0. WFF finished 6th and OCYS finished 8th in the 5 team, sorry typo, 8 team Southeast Conference. By the statistics, we would certainly expect WFF to be the clear favorite in this re-match. But our ECNL soccer sources have told us that OCYS has ordered specially made cheerleader soccer uniforms and are planning on implementing the dreaded cheerleader pyramid formation (for those not following Supercomputer predictions as closely as OCYS coaches apparently are, this is the formation we previously mentioned where the team's players form a perfect pyramid in front of their own goal-historically no one has ever scored against it). Our ECNL sources have also told us that WFF coaches have countered by conducting practices in cow pastures and having their players shoot against bales of hay stacked neatly into pyramids.

      Supercomputer Prediction: PV or TBU, sorry another typo, 0-0 tie

      Key Game Statistic: Shots on goal WFF 503, OCYS 0

      It was decided by both teams not to continue into PKs to decide this one, as no college coaches could attend due to the match being Soccer Court Ordered, scheduled last minute by FYSA in a cow pasture. Our sources tell us that FL ECNL teams will only showcase themselves if 500 or more college coaches attend a match.

      As always good luck to all teams and safe travels.
      it's 600 coaches per event! get it right!

      Comment


        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
        it's 600 coaches per event! get it right!
        Sorry, typo, you're right - 600 junior college coaches per event :)

        Comment


          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
          Well you are absolutely right, we would be totally remiss for not including our FL ECNL friends in our predictions. As always, yes even for our FYSA club teams, we have added supplemental data to be inputted into the Supercomputer for this special match-up. We reviewed endless amounts of FL ECNL game tape and counted the number of times each parent on the sideline shouted to their coaches: "@!&*$#!!!!! When are FYSA club team tryouts this year!!!! So without further ado:

          Bracket I: OCYS ECNL vs WFF ECNL: These are without question the top two ECNL teams in Florida-those are irrefutable facts. The giants and pinnacles of Florida ECNL. These teams met twice this year and WFF convincingly won both 5-0. WFF finished 6th and OCYS finished 8th in the 5 team, sorry typo, 8 team Southeast Conference. By the statistics, we would certainly expect WFF to be the clear favorite in this re-match. But our ECNL soccer sources have told us that OCYS has ordered specially made cheerleader soccer uniforms and are planning on implementing the dreaded cheerleader pyramid formation (for those not following Supercomputer predictions as closely as OCYS coaches apparently are, this is the formation we previously mentioned where the team's players form a perfect pyramid in front of their own goal-historically no one has ever scored against it). Our ECNL sources have also told us that WFF coaches have countered by conducting practices in cow pastures and having their players shoot against bales of hay stacked neatly into pyramids.

          Supercomputer Prediction: PV or TBU, sorry another typo, 0-0 tie

          Key Game Statistic: Shots on goal WFF 503, OCYS 0

          It was decided by both teams not to continue into PKs to decide this one, as no college coaches could attend due to the match being Soccer Court Ordered, scheduled last minute by FYSA in a cow pasture. Our sources tell us that FL ECNL teams will only showcase themselves if 500 or more college coaches attend a match.

          As always good luck to all teams and safe travels.
          Last match at OCYS had 8 coaches (FSU, MIAMI, MTSU, STETSON, UCF, JACKSONVILLE, FGCU couple others I cannot remember) it was the same day as the CDL showcase which had 3 coaches attend. True story.

          Comment


            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
            Last match at OCYS had 8 coaches (FSU, MIAMI, MTSU, STETSON, UCF, JACKSONVILLE, FGCU couple others I cannot remember) it was the same day as the CDL showcase which had 3 coaches attend. True story.
            as true as anything else you read on TS

            Comment


              Supercomputer Prediction - Elite 8 - Brackets A & B

              Okay fellow overly anxious soccer fans, why wait to find out the results of the Elite 8 when we can fast forward by looking into our crystal ball (aka Supercomputer) and find out what is going to happen in another 5 months when the games are actually scheduled to be played. It's time to get that bad taste of FL ECNL out of our mouths. The Supercomputer has been slowly grinding through the huge, infinitesimal amount of data that we feed it for these match-ups and has come up with it's predictions. As we advance to each round and collect even more data, we add even more critical, irrelevant data such as: How many times during the previous State Cup rounds did team parents on the sideline "accidentally" trip the assistant referee, accidentally like? How many team parents were dragged off the fields by the Field Marshall screaming: "@#$%##!!! NOOOOOO, You can't!!!-They Will Lose Without Me, @@#$%% You don't understand!!! How many parents accidentally tripped the Field Marshall?

              Warning: for those of you that just can't handle knowing what the future entails, please skip to the next post (likely from one of those FL ECNL Athletic Supporters). For those reckless ones that just can't wait to know what in the future may just hit them square in the face, please proceed forward. So without further ado:

              Bracket A: PV (#2) vs FCA (#8): The Perennial Vavorites take on America's team. In order to make our jobs harder, these two teams chose not to play each other this year. So we had to really dig deep into the history of each team. For example, and we're not even sure PV parents are going to know this, but the Spanish meaning of Ponte Vedra is "the old bridge". We weren't even sure how this ties into this match-up but when we visited one of FCA's practices this past week to find out their strategy, their coaches were overhead singing to the players "London Bridge is Falling Down". We have to admit at the time it seemed rather disturbing to us-in fact still keeps us up at night....but now it makes perfect sense! What a motivational song! When FCA huddles up before this heavyweight match-up, you can expect this song to echo throughout the soccer facility and surely strike fear in PV. Unfortunately for FCA, we later visited PV's practices and they seem to have been tipped off, as their coaches were overhead telling their players "before hitting the fields put on these earplugs". So will FCA's strategy work or will PV be strong enough to resist these Sirens of Greek Mythology?

              Supercomputer Prediction: PV (provided their earplugs don't fall out)

              Bracket B: Florida Fire (#3) vs Boca United (#12): While Florida Fire blazed through the west Pine forest, BU was caught up in an emotionally draining Boca Derby in the last round. Can an emotionally drained BU overcome a more rested Florida Fire? As these teams also decided not to play each other this year, we had to once again go deep into our research. How deep, you ask? Well, if you read the Bracket A match-up above you know we can go pretty deep. I'm not sure if Boca-nites even know this, but their fine City of Boca Raton has the nautical meaning: "inlet of sharp rocks". So you ask, what could this possibly have anything to do with this match-up? Good question-tough crowd. Ahhh, oh yeah, think about this brain teaser (parents put your special drinks down first-you need all your brain cells for this one) - what happens when a Florida Fire meets a water inlet of exposed sharp rocks? Think you are right? Actually you're wrong, before the Fire gets snuffed by the water, the Fire first fatally singes the exposed sharp rocks. Makes sense now doesn't it-No?-well it does to the Supercomputer and that's all that matters!

              Supercomputer Prediction: Florida Fire

              As always, best of luck to all the teams and safe travels.

              Comment


                Supercomputer Predictions - Elite 8 - Brackets C & D

                Alright fellow soccer fanatics, let's finish off the Elite 8 so we can start preparing for the Final 4. As always, we try to provide the most up to date data for inputting into the Supercomputer that we feel are most representative for each match-up, such as: How many parent comments did it take in your last parent team meeting before the head coach developed an uncontrollable twitch in their eye? How many parent team meetings did it take before the head coach banned all future parent team meetings? How long into the parent team meeting did it take for the ambulance to be called to carry away your now muttering, incoherent head coach? We feel these types of statistics were absolutely critical in each of these teams surviving into the Elite 8. So without further ado:

                Bracket C: Braden River Maroon (#5) vs Houston Dynamos (#7): These teams made up for our other team match-ups by actually playing against each other, not just once, but twice during the season. BR Maroon came out both times on top, 2-0 and 1-0. Our Texas sources tell us that Houston unsuccessfully tried to recently schedule two matches against BR White just to even the score between the clubs? Some interesting soccer tidbits with these clubs: Did you know that Houston is the largest City in Texas and founded by the great soccer legend Sam Houston? Did you know that Braden River isn't even a City but a waterway with a human population of 0 but a fish population nearly equal to Houston's human population? We didn't think so. So what do these extremely interesting tidbits say about this match-up? Not much, but more importantly can one team beat the same team three times in a row during the same season? Will the Texans continue to shoot blanks when facing a team full of Rage? Will Braden River's Maroon uniforms "accidentally" and mysteriously disappear the night before the Elite 8, forcing Braden River to wear their Whites?

                Supercomputer Prediction: Braden River Maroon (Houston if BR shows up in White)

                Bracket D: TBU Premier (#1) vs Space Coast (#4): These teams also decided not to play one another this season. But here are a few interesting soccer tidbits for these two clubs: We're not even sure that TBU parents know this but our sources tell us that TBU stands for Tampa Bay United, not The-other Boca United that the rest of us in the State thought. Did you know that Space Coast got its name because really smart, supercomputer geeks (we love those guys) got bored setting off firecrackers on July 4th and decided it was much more interesting to launch really big fireworks into deep Space whenever they wanted? Just as important, will TBU Premier find their warp drive in this match-up and then finish off Space Coast with the dreaded Vulcan death grip? Will Space Coast continue to use the vast soccer resources from NASA that expands well beyond the atmosphere of Florida to live longer in State Cup and prosper?

                Supercomputer Prediction: TBU Premier (Space Coast if they use any alien players)

                As always best of luck to all teams and safe travels.

                Comment


                  Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                  Alright fellow soccer fanatics, let's finish off the Elite 8 so we can start preparing for the Final 4. As always, we try to provide the most up to date data for inputting into the Supercomputer that we feel are most representative for each match-up, such as: How many parent comments did it take in your last parent team meeting before the head coach developed an uncontrollable twitch in their eye? How many parent team meetings did it take before the head coach banned all future parent team meetings? How long into the parent team meeting did it take for the ambulance to be called to carry away your now muttering, incoherent head coach? We feel these types of statistics were absolutely critical in each of these teams surviving into the Elite 8. So without further ado:

                  Bracket C: Braden River Maroon (#5) vs Houston Dynamos (#7): These teams made up for our other team match-ups by actually playing against each other, not just once, but twice during the season. BR Maroon came out both times on top, 2-0 and 1-0. Our Texas sources tell us that Houston unsuccessfully tried to recently schedule two matches against BR White just to even the score between the clubs? Some interesting soccer tidbits with these clubs: Did you know that Houston is the largest City in Texas and founded by the great soccer legend Sam Houston? Did you know that Braden River isn't even a City but a waterway with a human population of 0 but a fish population nearly equal to Houston's human population? We didn't think so. So what do these extremely interesting tidbits say about this match-up? Not much, but more importantly can one team beat the same team three times in a row during the same season? Will the Texans continue to shoot blanks when facing a team full of Rage? Will Braden River's Maroon uniforms "accidentally" and mysteriously disappear the night before the Elite 8, forcing Braden River to wear their Whites?

                  Supercomputer Prediction: Braden River Maroon (Houston if BR shows up in White)

                  Bracket D: TBU Premier (#1) vs Space Coast (#4): These teams also decided not to play one another this season. But here are a few interesting soccer tidbits for these two clubs: We're not even sure that TBU parents know this but our sources tell us that TBU stands for Tampa Bay United, not The-other Boca United that the rest of us in the State thought. Did you know that Space Coast got its name because really smart, supercomputer geeks (we love those guys) got bored setting off firecrackers on July 4th and decided it was much more interesting to launch really big fireworks into deep Space whenever they wanted? Just as important, will TBU Premier find their warp drive in this match-up and then finish off Space Coast with the dreaded Vulcan death grip? Will Space Coast continue to use the vast soccer resources from NASA that expands well beyond the atmosphere of Florida to live longer in State Cup and prosper?

                  Supercomputer Prediction: TBU Premier (Space Coast if they use any alien players)

                  As always best of luck to all teams and safe travels.
                  Now that the Supercomputer has spoken, anyone disagree with these? There has to always be at least one upset.

                  Comment


                    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                    Now that the Supercomputer has spoken, anyone disagree with these? There has to always be at least one upset.
                    why dont' we just let the round of 16 play out then we can jump on these, it is all too premature.

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                      Alright fellow soccer fanatics, let's finish off the Elite 8 so we can start preparing for the Final 4. As always, we try to provide the most up to date data for inputting into the Supercomputer that we feel are most representative for each match-up, such as: How many parent comments did it take in your last parent team meeting before the head coach developed an uncontrollable twitch in their eye? How many parent team meetings did it take before the head coach banned all future parent team meetings? How long into the parent team meeting did it take for the ambulance to be called to carry away your now muttering, incoherent head coach? We feel these types of statistics were absolutely critical in each of these teams surviving into the Elite 8. So without further ado:

                      Bracket C: Braden River Maroon (#5) vs Houston Dynamos (#7): These teams made up for our other team match-ups by actually playing against each other, not just once, but twice during the season. BR Maroon came out both times on top, 2-0 and 1-0. Our Texas sources tell us that Houston unsuccessfully tried to recently schedule two matches against BR White just to even the score between the clubs? Some interesting soccer tidbits with these clubs: Did you know that Houston is the largest City in Texas and founded by the great soccer legend Sam Houston? Did you know that Braden River isn't even a City but a waterway with a human population of 0 but a fish population nearly equal to Houston's human population? We didn't think so. So what do these extremely interesting tidbits say about this match-up? Not much, but more importantly can one team beat the same team three times in a row during the same season? Will the Texans continue to shoot blanks when facing a team full of Rage? Will Braden River's Maroon uniforms "accidentally" and mysteriously disappear the night before the Elite 8, forcing Braden River to wear their Whites?

                      Supercomputer Prediction: Braden River Maroon (Houston if BR shows up in White)

                      Bracket D: TBU Premier (#1) vs Space Coast (#4): These teams also decided not to play one another this season. But here are a few interesting soccer tidbits for these two clubs: We're not even sure that TBU parents know this but our sources tell us that TBU stands for Tampa Bay United, not The-other Boca United that the rest of us in the State thought. Did you know that Space Coast got its name because really smart, supercomputer geeks (we love those guys) got bored setting off firecrackers on July 4th and decided it was much more interesting to launch really big fireworks into deep Space whenever they wanted? Just as important, will TBU Premier find their warp drive in this match-up and then finish off Space Coast with the dreaded Vulcan death grip? Will Space Coast continue to use the vast soccer resources from NASA that expands well beyond the atmosphere of Florida to live longer in State Cup and prosper?

                      Supercomputer Prediction: TBU Premier (Space Coast if they use any alien players)

                      As always best of luck to all teams and safe travels.
                      If Space Coast beats Sunrise, SCU 2-1 over TBU

                      Comment


                        The Supercomputer's Reputation is at Stake!

                        Alright fellow soccer fans, first a little history lesson to those Soccer Teams that the Supercomputer has chosen to come out victorious for this upcoming weekend's Sweet 16 and Elite 8 - the Supercomputer's Reputation is at Stake!!!! So to those teams, bottom-line, if you can't win for yourselves-do it for the Supercomputer! Just in case you need a little help, here is some advice:

                        Players: Ignore the parent fights in the parking lot as you arrive to your game. Don't be distracted by your parents screaming and yelling at the referees during pre-game warm-ups. During the playing of the national anthem-be proud of yourselves, your teammates and your Country-even as one by one your parents are already being dragged off the sidelines by the Field Marshall. Focus on your task at hand! You did it all year! You are where you are because of you! Most importantly, think of the Supercomputer!!!!

                        Coaches: Everyone knows the players are what got you there, not you! Do what you do best-stay out of the way and proudly take all the credit!

                        Parents: Vow that you won't do anything more stupid than what you have done all year. Your kids obviously overcame you all season long. Don't feel the need to take it up a notch!!! If you need to scream anything during the game yell at referees on the next field over-maybe their parents will get in trouble for a change!

                        Strategy:

                        1) If your team is up during the game, Relax! The Supercomputer already predicted this scenario accurately. This is a positive! Don't worry how many bad calls the blind referees have been making-it was taken into account. Take it to the homestretch! Coaches can sit back and enjoy, knowing full well how many people will call them a coaching genius at the end of the game! Parents, sit down and be proud. All is well!!!

                        2) If your team is tied late in the game, it is time to raise your level up a bit. Don't panic though! Some of the games predicted by the Supercomputer are expected to be close and may even go to PKs. Obviously your coach hasn't been able to properly motivate the players to score one more goal, therefore time for those parents that haven't been physically removed by the Field Marshalls to become a little more involved. Parents, it is now time to yell out to your players: "If you can't score one more for our lousy Coach, Do it for the Supercomputer!". That should be all the motivation the players need at that point-you are now it good shape to win! Relax!

                        3) In the unlikely event your team is losing late in the game, it is time to pull out all stops!! Afterall, the Supercomputer's reputation is at stake here! Coaches do something, anything-stop sitting there in awe of yourselves! Parents that haven't been kicked out of the complex, you are now needed more than ever and it is now time to take action: bribe the referees, bribe your kids, bribe the opposing players, help the referees make the right calls that they have been missing all game long, accidentally trip the AR just as they are about to raise the offsides flag against your team, get the opposing parents to fight so they may have to forfeit the game, most importantly-plead with the Field Marshall to release your banned parents from the detention cell block so they can help (afterall, those are the parents you really really need right now-it is what they do best)....do anything!

                        Alright, take a deep breath, I think we covered every possible scenario. The Supercomputer, I mean your team, is in good shape.

                        As always best of luck to all teams and safe travels.

                        Comment


                          Newsflash: South Florida Team Prepares for Trip North

                          Alert...Alert...Alert...An unspecified South Florida club team prepares for trip north for the Sweet 16...In order to acclimate their team to the expected harsh cold climate of North Florida, a South Florida club has been conducting special soccer training sessions in the local supermarket meat freezer....in related news, sixteen members of a South Florida soccer club have been treated for hypothermia and frostbite....when asked to comment at the hospital, the blue lipped Head Coach could only state "nnnnnnnooooooo ccccccoooommmmmmeeeennnntttt!!!!....Now back to your regularly scheduled TS bashing.

                          Comment


                            Newflash: West Coast Teams prepare for East Coast Travel

                            Alert...Alert...Alert....West Coast Florida teams prepare for the long journey to the east coast for the Sweet 16...One unspecified West Coast Club has been preparing their team by having practices starting and ending 10 hours later to adjust to the time zone change....When asked to comment the overly tired, exhausted grumpy Head Coach stated "jet lag will not beat us again this year-now leave me alone its nap time"...Now back to your regularly scheduled TS bashing.

                            Comment


                              Newsflash: FYSA Unofficially Cancels State Cup 2015

                              Alert...alert...alert....Due to multiple, never-ending constant complaints filed from FYSA Clubs that their teams were unfairly eliminated from State Cup this year due to excessive travel, FYSA unofficially announces that next year all games will be played at each teams home fields....in related news, State Cup 2015 has been cancelled due to unforeseen scheduling difficulties...You may now return to your regularly scheduled TS bashing.

                              Comment


                                Alert...Alert....your posts are not even remotely funny.

                                Comment

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