Originally posted by Unregistered
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Etiquette for leaving a club at end of season
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Unregistered
Originally posted by Unregistered View PostAt least, in moving to a big club, even if not a top player at this moment, the player will have an opportunity to work hard to move up to a more competitive team, and maybe eventually to a top team, where ID ops do increase. If the player has outgrown a club, it's just a dead end to keep them there.
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Originally posted by Unregistered View Postif this person for real = do you believe this bull - coaches dont care on the big clubs unless u are a superstar, if not totally disposable - be warned from experience as coach and parent
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Originally posted by Unregistered View PostI hear this argument all the time, please give us the explanation of how the big clubs get an average team player more ID opportunities. Thanks
She plays HS with good players that play at smaller clubs, but some of these kids have played maybe a few games in local tournaments where a few local colleges have watched them play. It's a huge difference, but to be clear, it only matters if the player really wants to play for a high level college program and has the ability to make it. My d got several top college programs to come watch her play, but they weren't convinced that she could play for them, so we had to keep searching for the right fit.
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Originally posted by Unregistered View PostMy d plays for one of the top teams at one of the big clubs. By the time she was finishing her soph year in HS, she had played over 30 games in showcase settings in front of hundreds of coaches. Many of the schools that she was interested in over that time frame saw her play multiple times against high level competition. She had to do the homework of being ready to play, reaching out to contact the schools to let them know she was interested in them and following up. But a small local club had no way of giving her that same exposure.
She plays HS with good players that play at smaller clubs, but some of these kids have played maybe a few games in local tournaments where a few local colleges have watched them play. It's a huge difference, but to be clear, it only matters if the player really wants to play for a high level college program and has the ability to make it. My d got several top college programs to come watch her play, but they weren't convinced that she could play for them, so we had to keep searching for the right fit.
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Unregistered
Originally posted by Unregistered View PostJust be honest with the coach and other people, play out the rest of the year, and move on. Everyone should appreciate that. The wrong way to do is quitting during the season or lying to people about your intentions. Good luck.
If during the season the coach/owner treats your child and conducts themselves in a manner that gives you perfectly valid reasons to leave between the fall and spring then you have the responsibility as a parent to support your child and act in the best interest of your child. Absolutely no exceptions. If prior to the end of the season the coach/owner makes it very clear that they have given up on the child based on their coaching, treatment of the child, and comments to other people then it's time to make a decision. It's especially valid when the child already knows the coach/owner feels that way. Good luck.
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Unregistered
Seems like very few, if any, of the parents who are departing are overly forthcoming about their intentions.
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Unregistered
Originally posted by Unregistered View PostSeems like very few, if any, of the parents who are departing are overly forthcoming about their intentions.
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Unregistered
Originally posted by Unregistered View PostSeems like very few, if any, of the parents who are departing are overly forthcoming about their intentions.
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Depends on the facts of course, but I'd send a polite and complementary (without being phony) email thanking the coach for kindness, support, education of child, but explaining that going to try something different, a new challenge, etc., and say you'd be happy to discuss if they want further details It's instructive to see the response back. If they really want some honest feedback, they'll ask you for it. If you're switching from small club to big club, there probably isn't too much explanation necessary. In most cases, I see no reason to burn bridges. If you really feel the need to unload on them, then you probably should have spoken up sooner if there was really a problem.
Agree that going to other parents creates weird dynamics. Some people are insecure so need to justify their decision to switch by trying to drag others along with them (ie, let's get the whole team to switch). Understood that you may need to collude with a carpool buddy, but otherwise a change of team (with new kids) can be really good for growth. If you go to other parents, invariably some will see it as a rejection of what they're doing and so will react poorly (at least behind your back).
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Unregistered
In general, it's been my experience that the other players and parents are generally going to be OK with another family's decision to move on. But the temperament of the team the next season is going to follow the coach's attitude. If they belittle the player who moved on or call her a traitor (especially at the younger ages) the kids are likely to follow suit, or become disgruntled themselves at the coach's behavior.
I've seen it both ways: there is a current player at another club that still comes to visit the old team at tournaments, and hangs with us between games; and there is a current player on D's team who was shunned over leaving her old team and gets fouled at every turn and ignored by the players/coach in the line at the end of the game. The coach's attitude ("friend on another team" vs "traitor") set the stage.
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Unregistered
Etiquette for leaving?
Don't burn any bridges, you never know when a former coach may be able to open a door for your kid.
Keep it to yourself until you actually leave, the coaches know if you are missing practices that you are attending other club's sessions, no need to advertise it.
As far as the parents "we decided to go in another direction" " keeping our options open" Enough said.
It's a small world, you will see the coaches and parents at many events, IMHO it is better to be able to talk to them rather than pretend you don't see them.
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Unregistered
Originally posted by Unregistered View PostEtiquette for leaving?
Don't burn any bridges, you never know when a former coach may be able to open a door for your kid.
Keep it to yourself until you actually leave, the coaches know if you are missing practices that you are attending other club's sessions, no need to advertise it.
As far as the parents "we decided to go in another direction" " keeping our options open" Enough said.
It's a small world, you will see the coaches and parents at many events, IMHO it is better to be able to talk to them rather than pretend you don't see them.
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Unregistered
Thanks to the OP for posting.
We are going through this with my D right now.
She has a solid verbal offer to move to a different club (ECNL) and we are going to do it.
We really like our current club and want to maintain a good relationship with the families, coach and club.
Making the move for better coaching, better competition and better soccer.
I've been trying to figure the best approach.
I'm thinking as soon as we have offer in writing, we'll let the coach know what's up and offer to stay to the end.
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