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Reflecting on 10 yeares of travel soccer and advice for u-8 parents

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    #31
    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
    Sounds like you are one of the parents we all have on an older team, that is "banking" on their kid getting some money for college from soccer. However, many of us have planned ahead and actually saved for our kids future. Soccer IS about our kids competing and having fun. We don't give a damn if your kid gets a scholarship or not. So stop talking to us about it. The older the kids get, the worse you types become. No wonder so many kids stop playing, and yes ones that are more talented than your little "C" student. Cheers
    Holy crap. You're a moron.

    I actually helped argue your point.
    I'll reiterate: its the 90% of parents who THINK their kid is good that ruin soccer for their child.

    The other 10% of players (who actually ARE talented) need a team/coach that is going to properly develop them so they have as good a chance as possible to play at a higher level; whether that's college or unlikely some level of pro ball.

    There should be more rec teams than competitive. That's the issue. Every parent (the 90% being discussed) thinks their kid should be on a competitive team. So then all these rec teams are posing as competitive.
    THAT is what then turns kids away and takes the fun out of the game.

    BTW, your crappy attitude and lack on reading comprehension leads me to believe you are just as much a trouble-maker parent on the sideline. Probably complaining about every kid that happens to be better than yours.

    As the OP said: just sit back and enjoy the game.

    Comment


      #32
      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
      1) Don't blink. it will be over before you know it
      2) don't stress about winning a u-9 6v6 game, it doesn't matter just appreciate it.
      3) the grass is rarely greener, stay where you are and build that team unless it is destroying your kids will to play a game they love
      4) be careful about adding a "superstar" from another club. more often than not, they are joining you because their old team was sick of them. they will destroy your team.
      5) Coaches want the best for the kids for the most part. They are not all equal, but they most of the times, not the reason you win or lose
      6) Appreciate a good team manager. It's the worst job in the world and unless you have done it, you have no idea how much work is involved.
      7)Understand every ref stinks. They are human and make mistakes. A lot of mistakes!!!
      8)If you can come to grips with the fact that your kid is 99.9% not going to be a pro, your priorities will be in order.
      9) Don't let soccer take away from academics. There is way more money available for good students, than good soccer players.
      10) Love your kids and let them enjoy the game. They only have one childhood don't ruin it.
      This is a load of crap and a good example with problem in America today. You're all so touchy feely. It's obvious your kid wasn't a good player, but that's ok. There are kids that want to take their game to the highest of levels. These kids need dedicated parents that will finance the dream and sacrifice many weekends.

      Many points were spot on, but some are flawed.

      Yes, there will be refs that are inconsistent, etc. the make us angry when they become part of the outcome of the game.

      Some coaches will ruin your kid. If your child is losing passion for the game, leave for another club as fast as you can. The grass is indeed greener on most cases and your kid gets a fresh start.

      Players are what makes teams great. Whenever a superstar is available, take them and their family in with open arms. A lot of times they are leaving a club because their kid couldn't have a good soccer experience where they were. Kids can be clicky, especially girls. If a team does not support one another, they will fail and fall apart. The sense of family is key to a successful team and for kids to have fun while winning.

      Team managers do a lot of work, I agree. But you will notice that the mom whose kid is not getting a lot of playing time will be the first to take on the duties. They feel as though their efforts will get their kid in good with the coach. Sadly, it often works.

      Comment


        #33
        I thought the original post was solid advice. I think the best way parents can behave is to have someone film YOU during a game. Perhaps you'll realize what a complete lunatic you are, lol! Hey, been there, but I've seen to many kids with that defeated look on their face not because they lost, but because they "disappointed" their parents. It's not worth it, let your child find their own love of the game - if it's not there, you'll know and probably DO know it right now. Let them be kids, your childhood is over, not theirs.

        Comment


          #34
          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
          Holy crap. You're a moron.

          I actually helped argue your point.
          I'll reiterate: its the 90% of parents who THINK their kid is good that ruin soccer for their child.

          The other 10% of players (who actually ARE talented) need a team/coach that is going to properly develop them so they have as good a chance as possible to play at a higher level; whether that's college or unlikely some level of pro ball.

          There should be more rec teams than competitive. That's the issue. Every parent (the 90% being discussed) thinks their kid should be on a competitive team. So then all these rec teams are posing as competitive.
          THAT is what then turns kids away and takes the fun out of the game.

          BTW, your crappy attitude and lack on reading comprehension leads me to believe you are just as much a trouble-maker parent on the sideline. Probably complaining about every kid that happens to be better than yours.

          As the OP said: just sit back and enjoy the game.
          The 10% that are talented are already playing at the highest level, DA, etc. So wake up man. You are glorified rec Mr. CDL you just don't know it.

          Comment


            #35
            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
            This is a load of crap and a good example with problem in America today. You're all so touchy feely. It's obvious your kid wasn't a good player, but that's ok. There are kids that want to take their game to the highest of levels. These kids need dedicated parents that will finance the dream and sacrifice many weekends.

            Many points were spot on, but some are flawed.

            Yes, there will be refs that are inconsistent, etc. the make us angry when they become part of the outcome of the game.

            Some coaches will ruin your kid. If your child is losing passion for the game, leave for another club as fast as you can. The grass is indeed greener on most cases and your kid gets a fresh start.

            Players are what makes teams great. Whenever a superstar is available, take them and their family in with open arms. A lot of times they are leaving a club because their kid couldn't have a good soccer experience where they were. Kids can be clicky, especially girls. If a team does not support one another, they will fail and fall apart. The sense of family is key to a successful team and for kids to have fun while winning.

            Team managers do a lot of work, I agree. But you will notice that the mom whose kid is not getting a lot of playing time will be the first to take on the duties. They feel as though their efforts will get their kid in good with the coach. Sadly, it often works.
            "These kids need dedicated parents that will finance the dream"??? LOL you are exactly right, some parents will BUY their kids future, but eventually it will be in their own hands. You can't say with a straight face that all the kids on these teams want it sooo bad and this is why the parents "sacrfice". You're kidding yourself. This is why the clubs charge enormous fees, because of the parents, not the kids.

            Comment


              #36
              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
              I thought the original post was solid advice. I think the best way parents can behave is to have someone film YOU during a game. Perhaps you'll realize what a complete lunatic you are, lol! Hey, been there, but I've seen to many kids with that defeated look on their face not because they lost, but because they "disappointed" their parents. It's not worth it, let your child find their own love of the game - if it's not there, you'll know and probably DO know it right now. Let them be kids, your childhood is over, not theirs.
              All of this is true, but the problem is with the competition itself. 90% of the kids should just be playing rec in local leagues and having a blast without having to travel anywhere at all. These leagues should not be as asinine as i9 sports... that's a joke ... something like the palm beach league or SFU but not structured with clubs ... just fun. These same kids can and should play lots of other sports and God forbid spend some time just doing nothing and being a kid ...

              which leaves the other 10%.... that 10% should be focused on technical and tactical development with highly trained coaches AND playing just for fun. At u12 they start competing seriously and at u13-u14 competing very seriously. It is a progression. No one should be burnt out at u11.

              They system is not at all like this. But if you have a kid with a passion for the sport, take it slow and easy... who cares what teams other have made... do what is right for your kid and if the kid is in the 10% and if the passion is there, SLOWLY increase the competitive pressure....

              Comment


                #37
                Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                This is a load of crap . . .
                Many points were spot on, but some are flawed.
                I tried to follow your post, but you can't even decide what point you are trying to make

                Comment


                  #38
                  Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                  All of this is true, but the problem is with the competition itself. 90% of the kids should just be playing rec in local leagues and having a blast without having to travel anywhere at all. These leagues should not be as asinine as i9 sports... that's a joke ... something like the palm beach league or SFU but not structured with clubs ... just fun. These same kids can and should play lots of other sports and God forbid spend some time just doing nothing and being a kid ...

                  which leaves the other 10%.... that 10% should be focused on technical and tactical development with highly trained coaches AND playing just for fun. At u12 they start competing seriously and at u13-u14 competing very seriously. It is a progression. No one should be burnt out at u11.

                  They system is not at all like this. But if you have a kid with a passion for the sport, take it slow and easy... who cares what teams other have made... do what is right for your kid and if the kid is in the 10% and if the passion is there, SLOWLY increase the competitive pressure....
                  I agree - what I have experienced is often at least 50% or more of competitive kids (let a lone rec) should not be there. It's the parents that want them there, not the kid...and it's obvious and sad.

                  Comment


                    #39
                    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                    I agree - what I have experienced is often at least 50% or more of competitive kids (let a lone rec) should not be there. It's the parents that want them there, not the kid...and it's obvious and sad.
                    If your kid was good enough not play with the 50% in the rec leagues, they would already be on a DA squad. Look in the mirror, Mr. Rec league

                    Comment


                      #40
                      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                      If your kid was good enough not play with the 50% in the rec leagues, they would already be on a DA squad. Look in the mirror, Mr. Rec league
                      Lol, ok. typical response from a forum like this one, even though you don't know the age, sex, position, club or team my child is on. But whatever makes you feel good.

                      Comment


                        #41
                        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                        I tried to follow your post, but you can't even decide what point you are trying to make
                        Then try following deez nutz

                        Comment


                          #42
                          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                          Develop for what? Pros? College? If clubs were turning out teams where 90% of the players go on to play college or pro, then I might agree with you. But the numbers here in the U.S. are just the opposite. If you look at the registered players with USYSA, I would say far more than 90% stop playing (competitively) after high school.

                          Many quit long before high school ends because of this absurd notion that development is paramount to actually having fun on the field.
                          This is a completely misleading argument. Many kids quit ALL sports long before high school ends. It doesn't change the fact that practices are far more efficient for kids to work on fundamentals, develop the necessary motor skills and engage in repetitive training to master new moves. If they were having fun in games then the OPPOSITE would be seen as soccer has one of the HIGHEST game to practice ratios of any sport. The amount of games played is ridiculous. If playing as many games as possible was beneficial in development then the US would be leading the world in soccer as we have seemingly mastered the art of playing as many games as possible in a season. Even to the detriment to player health and practice time.

                          If practices aren't fun, that is the coach's fault, not the sport's. If a coach can't plan a decent practice you think he is suddenly going to be a great game coach?

                          Comment


                            #43
                            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                            You have bought into the lie. While that might be true for a small percentage of players, far more players quit the game because they lose a love for it.
                            Well it sounds as if you or someone you trusted overrated how good your child was and placed him on too high of a team. Competing at high levels is great for development and will push competitive kids to new heights. Obviously if your kid gets dominated he wasn't properly evaluated. That will retard development and drive a child to want to stop playing a sport.

                            But for the vast majority, push and challenge players. It will pay off.

                            Comment


                              #44
                              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                              You are correct on some point...

                              1. The high school you attend matters little as long as they are in a rigorous curriculum (IB, AP, AICE...) and you are maintaining a top 10 percent GPA (usually over a 4)

                              2. Test Scores matter the most, but it works on a sliding scale (higher test score/lower GPA and vice versa).

                              3. B/B plus don't typically impact your GPA...then again some districts may award points for B plus.

                              4. You are correct...academics suffering because of sport when it doesn't need to seems counter productive.

                              This is direction the sport has come to...train year round, work every day or you will fall behind everyone else in the league...this is what leagues promote and some parents.
                              Based on the results a large number of studies, on average, children who participate in sports have higher grades than those who do not.

                              Comment


                                #45
                                [QUOTE=Unregistered;1829577]Correct.
                                The OP doesn't have a clue.
                                First, a weaker team more likely has a weaker coach. Good luck getting developed with a weak coach.

                                Playing in games is important, but practice session is where you learn. And many people misunderstand when its said the game is the best teacher.

                                1. Your statement, that weaker teams likely have weaker coaches cannot be supported by any evidence, it is your opinion.
                                2. Playing competitive games is equally important than training. As a matter of fact, according to studies on skill development, training sessions should mimic competitive games as close as possible. (See the notion of contextual interference.)
                                3. You are right, competitive does not equal organized or sanctioned.

                                Comment

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