BTDT, please help

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The answer is remarkably simple. What does your daughter want? Does she have her own sense of where she is headed or is she like most every other 12 year old and following the path her parents and siblings have more or less laid out for her. If she does, then you already have your answers.

If she doesn't, based upon the data points you laid out the path seems to be headed towards the D3 level as you seem to suspect. She certainly seems to have the smarts to be thinking about some of the top level schools but you are not painting a picture of a real top level soccer talent that is going to be able to use their soccer ability to open up opportunities at them. Maybe that is just my reading of your scenario though. I know that it is early in the game still so a lot comes down to how aggressive you want to be working on that possibility. Based upon the economic profile you gave, money doesn't seem to be an issue so you are probably not limited by that and can do pretty much what you want. The question really comes down to what feels right to you at this point? That is what you should do.

I would simply caution that the path you are on with NEFC is not going to be for everyone and you should consider that the team you are currently on at 12 will not be the same team at 18. It won't even be the same by 14. Given the profile you gave, you probably should consider that your daughter might possibly be a bubble player and face getting cut down the road. How would that make all of you feel if that happened? I would suggest that you weigh that in figuring out where you are going. Another part of this is the middle school years are brutal in club soccer in general. At the level of team you are with it can be absolutely crazy making so you might want to really weigh whether that insanity is really worth where your daughter might be heading. A lot of families get lulled to sleep thinking that the group of kids/parents/coach they feel so comfortable with at 12 is going to be the same all the way through to 18. You are going to find that even if your daughter doesn't end up to be a bubble player that between now and 16 most of her friends on that team will likely end up leaving it. It is just the normal cycle of things. You have girls so you know how important team chemistry is. You can probably gauge who might be able to stick around and make some decision based upon them but you are not going to be able to choose who replaces those teammates that leave and I would suggest that adds some risk for you. Good luck.

Thanks for the rapid response! You sure do love your TS! I was out with the family catching Selma before my older ones head back to college tomorrow.

We definitely know the risks but things are good now and my kid is a hard worker who coaches love, so I think she has a good shot to keep making the team.

What I was hoping you were going to answer is whether you would be doing the same thing with a similar player. Would you make the same investment? If she did drop out of club and just played town and high school do you think she would still have a good chance to to be a viable player at a good level of D3?

[Unregistered]

Thanks for the rapid response! You sure do love your TS! I was out with the family catching Selma before my older ones head back to college tomorrow.

We definitely know the risks but things are good now and my kid is a hard worker who coaches love, so I think she has a good shot to keep making the team.

What I was hoping you were going to answer is whether you would be doing the same thing with a similar player. Would you make the same investment? If she did drop out of club and just played town and high school do you think she would still have a good chance to to be a viable player at a good level of D3?

You're kidding, right? If BTNT had a kid like the one described (and he did), he would be all in, and indeed would double down to finagle and maneuver his very good D3 prospect into an at least marginal D1 prospect. A different type of elitism, but elitism all the same. He says it's about the money but it's really about the status of saying your kid went D1. Deep in his heart of hearts he doesn't believe for a second that any of us actually could be happy with a D3 outcome, and that some of us don't view D3 as settling at all. The one thing he absolutely would NOT do is just pull his kid out and have her play town and high school or not play at all. And you can bet that he's going to avoid answering the D3 part of your question like the plague.

[Unregistered]

You're kidding, right? If BTNT had a kid like the one described (and he did), he would be all in, and indeed would double down to finagle and maneuver his very good D3 prospect into an at least marginal D1 prospect. A different type of elitism, but elitism all the same. He says it's about the money but it's really about the status of saying your kid went D1. Deep in his heart of hearts he doesn't believe for a second that any of us actually could be happy with a D3 outcome, and that some of us don't view D3 as settling at all. The one thing he absolutely would NOT do is just pull his kid out and have her play town and high school or not play at all. And you can bet that he's going to avoid answering the D3 part of your question like the plague.

What doe we think, A or D?

[Unregistered]

What doe we think, A or D?

You're still not "we," BTNT: those are just your delusions of grandeur and authority, again. You're merely the most high profile and unhinged soccer parent in the state, probably ever.

[Unregistered]

and the obsession continues

[Unregistered]

and the obsession continues

Alex, I'll take C for $500.

In response to a query about whether he works, BTDT (signed in), in 2010, replied:

I spend most days staring at a computer screen. This is my diversion. Got anything to add to the discussion?

11-18-10 to be exact.

[Unregistered]

Surprised you didn't give us the hour and seconds also. Nutjob.

[Unregistered]

You're kidding, right? If BTNT had a kid like the one described (and he did), he would be all in, and indeed would double down to finagle and maneuver his very good D3 prospect into an at least marginal D1 prospect. A different type of elitism, but elitism all the same. He says it's about the money but it's really about the status of saying your kid went D1. Deep in his heart of hearts he doesn't believe for a second that any of us actually could be happy with a D3 outcome, and that some of us don't view D3 as settling at all. The one thing he absolutely would NOT do is just pull his kid out and have her play town and high school or not play at all. And you can bet that he's going to avoid answering the D3 part of your question like the plague.

What often gets lost about a lot of what btdt wrote back in that 2009-2010 time frame you seem to want to refer back to is he was offering lessons learned and openly discussed the mistakes he made with his first kid. One big part of his message was that he felt that after it was all over with that first kid that his club had led him down a wasteful path and learned that he didn't really need much of what they had her team do to get that one to her destination which was a bottom of the barrel D1 program and subsequently a middle tier D3 program. You obviously object very strongly to that notion and look at what has gone on with his other daughter as some sort of validation for the anger you express in this post.

The ingredient you seem to be missing though is a recognition of the differences in ability between the two kids which by all accounts is pretty extreme. Taking your obvious agitation out of the discussion, what you really seem to be arguing for is a belief that every child should get equal access to resources regardless of ability and what you are arguing against is an idea that resources should targeted based upon ability. Isn't that the real discussion here?

[Unregistered]

What often gets lost about a lot of what btdt wrote back in that 2009-2010 time frame you seem to want to refer back to is he was offering lessons learned and openly discussed the mistakes he made with his first kid. One big part of his message was that he felt that after it was all over with that first kid that his club had led him down a wasteful path and learned that he didn't really need much of what they had her team do to get that one to her destination which was a bottom of the barrel D1 program and subsequently a middle tier D3 program. You obviously object very strongly to that notion and look at what has gone on with his other daughter as some sort of validation for the anger you express in this post.

The ingredient you seem to be missing though is a recognition of the differences in ability between the two kids which by all accounts is pretty extreme. Taking your obvious agitation out of the discussion, what you really seem to be arguing for is a belief that every child should get equal access to resources regardless of ability and what you are arguing against is an idea that resources should targeted based upon ability. Isn't that the real discussion here?

No, that's not what you wrote and there was nothing about any grand lessons learned FOR YOU. Exactly the same rants as we see now.

You still haven't answered whether you in hindsight would not have had your oldest play club at all.

"Mid-tier D3"??? LMAO.

Don't even know what you mean by equal access. There is a process by which kids find a level that at least roughly works for them. They try out, they make it or don't, they find where they do make or don't, and they see that they are either playing or not.

[Unregistered]

What often gets lost about a lot of what btdt wrote back in that 2009-2010 time frame you seem to want to refer back to is he was offering lessons learned and openly discussed the mistakes he made with his first kid. One big part of his message was that he felt that after it was all over with that first kid that his club had led him down a wasteful path and learned that he didn't really need much of what they had her team do to get that one to her destination which was a bottom of the barrel D1 program and subsequently a middle tier D3 program. You obviously object very strongly to that notion and look at what has gone on with his other daughter as some sort of validation for the anger you express in this post.

The ingredient you seem to be missing though is a recognition of the differences in ability between the two kids which by all accounts is pretty extreme. Taking your obvious agitation out of the discussion, what you really seem to be arguing for is a belief that every child should get equal access to resources regardless of ability and what you are arguing against is an idea that resources should targeted based upon ability. Isn't that the real discussion here?

Really??? Here from 11-19-10 we see that you didn't sound that regretful at all and apparently were still pretty proud of your D1 commitment. And you even were really into the COMMITMENTS threads.

Congratulations on your daughter's success. It is a crazy road you are on and once you finish you'll probably look back won't believe what it all took. I know that I did. I look forward to seeing your daughter's decision on the commitment thread. Good luck.

I would say to those following this specific discussion in this thread, that there are a lot of variables in the recruiting process and exposure is just one of them. There could be a thousand things that are effecting these others players from being at the wrong tournaments, to not targeting the right schools, or their coach not doing their job talking to the college coaches. It could also be that the kids are not as good a prospect as their parents think they are. The key to doing the recruiting game efficiently is targeting. Knowing what level prospect your kid is and where they want to go to school will save you thousands of dollars and months of effort.

[Unregistered]

Then people like you started ripping the commitments and no one felt safe talking about them any longer.

[Unregistered]

That's C for $600.

[Unregistered]

Then people like you started ripping the commitments and no one felt safe talking about them any longer.

Ah, how quickly the narrative changes on a dime. Real data sucks doesn't it, BTDT?

[Unregistered]

Then people like you started ripping the commitments and no one felt safe talking about them any longer.

Where are the posts about the mistakes and how you wouldn't have even had her play club at all, BTDT? You just said a few posts ago that the 09-10 period was about sharing all of your mistakes? And earlier this year you said if you had a do-over you'd go for D1 all over again, LOL.

[Unregistered]

Where are the posts about the mistakes and how you wouldn't have even had her play club at all, BTDT? You just said a few posts ago that the 09-10 period was about sharing all of your mistakes? And earlier this year you said if you had a do-over you'd go for D1 all over again, LOL.

You seem to like dredging up old posts. Why don't you go find a few? The funny thing I enjoy about all of those old posts is they are supposed to show how mean spirited and evil btdt is but they tend to do just the opposite. Imagine congratulating someone on their kid's commitment. What a mean spirited thing.