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    #16
    Op here. Was hoping to read different perspectives. Thanks to those who responded. If anyone knows a forum I can ask questions please tell me. Dd’s Coach/club aren’t helpful.

    -Not BTNT

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      #17
      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
      Op here. Was hoping to read different perspectives. Thanks to those who responded. If anyone knows a forum I can ask questions please tell me. Dd’s Coach/club aren’t helpful.

      -Not BTNT
      Which SCHOOL is her ideal school? Ignore the soccer until that question has been answered first. Soccer can easily go away (injury, cut, burnout, no PT). If you can't picture yourself at a school without soccer it's probably not the right one.

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        #18
        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
        Considering op did not mention which division and the background she gave, guessing these are D2/NAIA/or very low level D1. Ask your daughter where they see themselves working in 10 years. I would argue school name and prestige isn’t as important for some majors like teaching. If she doesn’t like it she could always transfer to a local state school. You might want to look into a schools honor program as well. Let her go where she’ll be happy and have fun.
        This advice sounds very, very familiar BTNT. If plan doesn't work can always go to a local state school? But let her be happy? You meant forced, right?

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          #19
          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
          Op here. Was hoping to read different perspectives. Thanks to those who responded. If anyone knows a forum I can ask questions please tell me. Dd’s Coach/club aren’t helpful.

          -Not BTNT
          Giving up so soon? Really want to solve your little dilemmas online? What advice did you find the most helpful so far? And what does your need to be vague have to do with leaving the search in the hands of your daughter? Next time at least use scenarios that are borderline realistic.

          Comment


            #20
            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
            Op here. I think you have me confused with someone else. My 2021 dd has 3 offers. One of the coaches is asking for an answer soon. 2 of the offers has the same amount out of pocket costs. One school is an OOS public school that isn’t their flagship school.. not even their second best public school. But DD loved the campus and their team. They placed middle of their conference. It’s in a rural area and she’s only lived in suburbia all her life so I think she’s not used to everyone being so nice. My concern with this school is their academics. Without the soccer piece this school wouldn’t be on her radar. Average SAT there is 1100. She scored 32 on her ACT. 2nd school is in a suburban city 5 hours away by car. This school is in the bottom 3 of their conference but academically is a well known and respected school. Not a T100. Her gpa and test scores qualify her for a lot of merit aid. She didn’t like the team as much, felt “clicky”. Academically speaking, she doesn’t know what she wants to major in but likely psychology or business. We want her to have a say in her decision but I’m having a hard time with the idea she’ll pick A. I posted hear other parents thoughts about this or who have gone through this process.

            School 3’s offer would make it a financial stretch for us. Offer was a small percentage off tuition. Even with merit aid it’s a reach. Coach is nice, only met a couple girls from the team, 6 hr flight from home. This school hasn’t been in our discussions and the coach hasn’t given us a deadline. She knows she’s not one of their main prospects and would be taking one of the last spots.

            Every families priorities are different. Personally, I’d sit down with her and talk long term big picture. It’s hard for a teenage soccer player to think beyond soccer and the club rat race that revolves around committing to colleges for soccer. I’ve seen more girls choose a school for soccer and end up unhappy or lesser employed after they graduate than I’ve seen the ones who put academics first. In fact, I’ve recently come to realize that the girls who chose to play club soccer at their dream academic school have been the happiest. Of course, this is just my own experience and I don’t know any girls who were recruited to be starters at UNC or Stanford and such. Bet those girls are pretty happy!

            Soccer ends in 4 years for 99.999% of these girls anyway. Their degree, alma mater and college friends last a lifetime. She could play some kind of soccer at all 3 schools so I don’t think soccer should be the deciding factor. My suggestion is to go on a non soccer site or even just at work and ask folks which of the 3 schools they’d recommend, without mentioning soccer.

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              #21
              Your kid couldn’t play anyway thanks for the rant.

              Comment


                #22
                Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                Considering my need to be vague, we left the search to our dd. Like many other players, she blasted a lot of emails to 50 coaches last year to see who would bite. The schools that have interest were ones who responded from those pre-showcase emails and followed up with her. Our search is a lot less narrow than you can imagine. I think for many players her outreach approach is what clubs tell their players to do. With her stats she could easily find local to near local with her stats. Trust me, I already know this and want to pull my hair out. But she wants to play soccer. And I don’t want to say no because we outlined our finances before hand and told her we would support her college soccer aspirations as long as it was in the ballpark of what we would finance. She isn’t a top recruit, not the best player on her team. She understands her soccer limitations as we also do. She’s not in the position of playing for a school that checks off all her or are boxes. It’s her next chapter of four years, not ours. Trust me when I say I would rather her pick a school for academics and play club soccer than to pay for a mediocre academic school with her stats.

                This is simple.
                1. Expand the search. It doesn’t seem like any of the three are great.
                2. If your kid isn’t sure then consider a pg year.
                3. Keep in mind that, for various reasons, your child might not be playing soccer at the chosen school. Then she is left with the school.
                4. If four were to happen, there are many clubs to join that offer lots of great activities....all while accommodating the academics and the development of an adult that eventually has to move on to the next stage of life.

                Comment


                  #23
                  This is easy...School first, Soccer second.

                  To suggest otherwise is foolish.

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                    This is easy...School first, Soccer second.

                    To suggest otherwise is foolish.
                    For the frugal ones, maybe by necessity, I would add "financial net price" in the middle of that. Maybe even first. But you are right, it is easy if your head, and kid's head, is on straight.

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Agree. The best academic school that you can afford. Far better in the long run though it’s hard to see now.

                      Comment


                        #26
                        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                        This is easy...School first, Soccer second.

                        To suggest otherwise is foolish.
                        Too simple.

                        Everyone has different factors to consider. Financial being a big one for many. I know for us, there are like 5 others big ones long before the school name on the diploma. Anyone who says it’s all about academics has very few other challenges and are very very affluent and blessed.

                        Comment


                          #27
                          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                          Agree. The best academic school that you can afford. Far better in the long run though it’s hard to see now.
                          Outside the top 200 schools in the country, aren’t all the other schools nearly a wash?

                          Comment


                            #28
                            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                            Outside the top 200 schools in the country, aren’t all the other schools nearly a wash?
                            definitely not. and some have strengths in certain subjects.

                            Comment


                              #29
                              https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psy...s-attend%3famp

                              Comment


                                #30
                                lol, these crazy soccer parents don't want to hear what this article is saying. Next thing you know they might start thinking a club other than DA or ENCL is just as good for their kid.

                                OMG what would they do if they didn't spend every waking minute trying to get their kids into the top schools and top soccer programs?

                                Comment

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