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The Pros and Cons of Parent Coaches

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    The Pros and Cons of Parent Coaches

    For their own kids, for the team, for themselves.... Discuss

    #2
    Former parent coach who played through college:

    It stunk. Try as I might, I treated my kid worse because I didn't want to show favoritism. Unfair to her.

    After she got out of rec by U8 I stopped. I'll pitch in and help the coach if asked on occasion, but otherwise I'm perfectly happy watching her from the sidelines.

    Also, when you are coaching you are watching a dozen kids.

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
      For their own kids, for the team, for themselves.... Discuss
      That's easy. A win, win, win situation. I'd do it all over again, and twice on Sundays.

      Actually, come to think of it, I DID do it twice on Sundays.

      (as far as poster #2...with all due respect, if you had issues at THAT age, and in recreational soccer no less, it had nothing to do with being a parent coach)

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by ForzaAzzurri View Post
        That's easy. A win, win, win situation. I'd do it all over again, and twice on Sundays.

        Actually, come to think of it, I DID do it twice on Sundays.

        (as far as poster #2...with all due respect, if you had issues at THAT age, and in recreational soccer no less, it had nothing to do with being a parent coach)
        Nice slam; I'm honest with myself that it wasn't a fit for me. I had one kid who couldn't keep his hands off his own d1ck, one who apparently had some fetish for cones, and it was like herding cats. I enjoyed it, but with so many a-hole parents around I was fearful of them feeling like they singled out their little Johnny. So, I mistakenly used my own kid as an example. I'm big enough to know it was wrong, and it's why I stopped.

        To add one further point, we'd split the kids up; half with an helper and half with me for games. So, half the time I wasn't even watching my own kid anyway. What's the point?

        No thanks...we can work together on the field or in the yard.

        That's why this board svcks. Honesty is met with mockery.

        Comment


          #5
          Plenty of cons, the biggest of which is favoritism, both real and perceived. As the poster above says it can cause friction between the parent and child as well. Actually the perceived piece can be even worse. It sows dissension among players and parents and can cause an overwhelming negative vibe. BTW favoritism exists both on and off the field. Coach's kids often times get treated differently - they get to play up, asked to do special training etc. Many parent coaches have a hidden agenda because they think their kid won't get those extras on their own skill and hard work.

          Another: many parents aren't qualified to coach, or if they are not qualified to coach beyond the ulittle level. A club that keeps a unqualified parent coach because it's convenient or they're desperate to keep the coach's kid is doing the rest of the team a huge disservice and charging them handsomely to do so.

          There is the rare parent coach out there who is totally objective, qualified and doesn't have a hidden agenda. Fantastic when that happens. But it happens so infrequently. A well run club who wants a qualified parent coach involved can assign him/her another team in the club, just no their own child. Saves themselves a mountain of headaches with other families and might salvage the parent/child relationship as well

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by ForzaAzzurri View Post
            That's easy. A win, win, win situation. I'd do it all over again, and twice on Sundays.

            Actually, come to think of it, I DID do it twice on Sundays.

            (as far as poster #2...with all due respect, if you had issues at THAT age, and in recreational soccer no less, it had nothing to do with being a parent coach)
            Why do you feel it was a win/win? Was it because you were able to make sure your kid got preferred treatment and playing time?

            We've seen your kind....

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
              Why do you feel it was a win/win? Was it because you were able to make sure your kid got preferred treatment and playing time?

              We've seen your kind....
              Hey the guy probably had fun, spent time with his kid and his/her friends. It's just that he fails to recognize all the other baggage that impacts everyone else while the's enjoying it

              Comment


                #8
                At the club level there is NO place for parent coaches. The first club team my D played on, large top/club, she had a parent coach. It certainly caused a lot of friction, and unfortunately my daughter played the same position as his. I had multiple parents throughout the season telling me that my daughter should be playing more, but wasn't because the coach didn't want my daughter to "outshine" his. By the end of the season the team completely imploded, with more than half the team leaving. He still coaches, but his daughter is NOT on the team, and I've heard good things from parents on his current team. I think it's very HARD to be objective, because unless your kid is a super star (NT level) there will always be perceptions of favoritism, both from the parents and kids.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Looking back, it was generally the single worse thing about our kids sports. Avoid it like the plague. That is a key reason to go club. Less but not none of this. If I coached my kid at all it was as asst coach and early on, only if there were no other options.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    First question I ask before putting my kids on any team- does the coach have a kid on the team? If the answer is yes, we run for the hills. Been there done that and parent coaching is never a good idea. Coaches kid always gets preferred positions, starts every game, gets more playing time, even if they don't deserve it and believe me, I've seen it happen plenty of times.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I have little issue with a club hiring a parent coach if

                      - the coach is just as qualified as all the other professional coaches they have
                      - the coach doesn't coach his or her own child

                      I'm sure some fitting those descriptions still have an ulterior motive, but that's tough to screen for. Beyond the rec level I would never let my kid be coached by a parent coach who has a kid on the team.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                        I have little issue with a club hiring a parent coach if

                        - the coach is just as qualified as all the other professional coaches they have
                        - the coach doesn't coach his or her own child

                        I'm sure some fitting those descriptions still have an ulterior motive, but that's tough to screen for. Beyond the rec level I would never let my kid be coached by a parent coach who has a kid on the team.
                        I have no concerns with it either, as long as they are NOT coaching their own kid.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                          I have little issue with a club hiring a parent coach if

                          - the coach is just as qualified as all the other professional coaches they have
                          - the coach doesn't coach his or her own child

                          I'm sure some fitting those descriptions still have an ulterior motive, but that's tough to screen for. Beyond the rec level I would never let my kid be coached by a parent coach who has a kid on the team.
                          Right. At the rec level it's fine but not beyond that.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                            Right. At the rec level it's fine but not beyond that.
                            Even in our town the travel program has professional coaches and parents only serve as team managers. At the club level I prefer no parent involvement whatsoever, not even as a manager.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                              Even in our town the travel program has professional coaches and parents only serve as team managers. At the club level I prefer no parent involvement whatsoever, not even as a manager.
                              From what I've seen, clubs stink as administrators. So, managers are needed so they can be freed up as coaches.

                              Not saying it's right, just what I've seen.

                              Comment

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