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**Unregistered** · 06-17-2016, 09:34 AM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

Birth year clinics, practice sessions and tryouts behind what are positive ways to mesh with the new team. It seems like it would come from the club/coach/manager first but what can either side do to ease tension and come out running. I've seen and heard parents do and say some real childish stuff out of whatever emotions drive that negativity but once you join it would seem in the best interests of all to present the unified front and strive to become one. Maybe it's unrealistic to think it can be an easy transition at this age. Hoping for one though and to stay put on this team.

A GU14 parent

True. Unless you are a crazy Valeo parent. Then your kid is the best and you need to warn everyone else to watch out!

**Unregistered** · 06-17-2016, 09:38 AM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

True. Unless you are a crazy Valeo parent. Then your kid is the best and you need to warn everyone else to watch out!

I am sorry for asking, but is your child expressing any concerns. Kids deal with this stuff at school all the time, often times without your help. I bet she does not need help "meshing" with the team.

**Unregistered** · 06-17-2016, 09:39 AM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

Birth year clinics, practice sessions and tryouts behind what are positive ways to mesh with the new team. It seems like it would come from the club/coach/manager first but what can either side do to ease tension and come out running. I've seen and heard parents do and say some real childish stuff out of whatever emotions drive that negativity but once you join it would seem in the best interests of all to present the unified front and strive to become one. Maybe it's unrealistic to think it can be an easy transition at this age. Hoping for one though and to stay put on this team.

A GU14 parent

Change is hard for most people. And if you fell in love with a previous team, its like breaking up. Time will heal the wounds. But from your post, its hard to determine if its the kids or the parents that are having the struggle. For the kids, although the spring season is basically over and most clubs slow down over the summer, I would think having a few practice sessions over the summer would bring the team together. And the sooner the better in some cases.

**Unregistered** · 06-17-2016, 09:42 AM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

Birth year clinics, practice sessions and tryouts behind what are positive ways to mesh with the new team. It seems like it would come from the club/coach/manager first but what can either side do to ease tension and come out running. I've seen and heard parents do and say some real childish stuff out of whatever emotions drive that negativity but once you join it would seem in the best interests of all to present the unified front and strive to become one. Maybe it's unrealistic to think it can be an easy transition at this age. Hoping for one though and to stay put on this team.

A GU14 parent

Send a thank you card signed by the team to US Soccer for creating this unnecessary mess.

**Unregistered** · 06-17-2016, 09:48 AM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

I am sorry for asking, but is your child expressing any concerns. Kids deal with this stuff at school all the time, often times without your help. I bet she does not need help "meshing" with the team.

You are probably right. She seems excited to fall into place.

**Unregistered** · 06-17-2016, 09:56 AM

I think the OP made a good point. It doesn't hurt for the team manager to arrange a pool party or a trip to the REVS and a tailgate or something along those lines. It gives the players and parents a chance to get to know each other in an easy going environment.

**Unregistered** · 06-17-2016, 10:46 AM

Yes- US Soccer screwed this up by foisting this on people (although the clubs could have just kept the team together and played up....), but perhaps it would help if the parents could lead by looking at this for what it is- a growth/development opportunity. Your viewing this as a traumatic event is clearly seeping through to your kid every time they get into the car after training even if you don't say anything (but i bet your seemingly encouraging/helpful questions are letting on that you view this as a negative). Instead- "how great is that you get to play with a bunch of new kids and a new coach, all the old ranking are blown up, this is the chance to try out that new position (after your old coach pigeon-holed you)..." Not trying to lecture but I really do think too many people are being "glass half empty" on this.

**Unregistered** · 06-17-2016, 10:52 AM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

Yes- US Soccer screwed this up by foisting this on people (although the clubs could have just kept the team together and played up....), but perhaps it would help if the parents could lead by looking at this for what it is- a growth/development opportunity. Your viewing this as a traumatic event is clearly seeping through to your kid every time they get into the car after training even if you don't say anything (but i bet your seemingly encouraging/helpful questions are letting on that you view this as a negative). Instead- "how great is that you get to play with a bunch of new kids and a new coach, all the old ranking are blown up, this is the chance to try out that new position (after your old coach pigeon-holed you)..." Not trying to lecture but I really do think too many people are being "glass half empty" on this.

Just wait until this is rolled out to town travel programs next year.

**Unregistered** · 06-17-2016, 10:59 AM

This thread wreaks of helicopter parents and being overly worried about whether the team will win or lose based on their "meshing".

Let them play, learn to work together, grow emotionally and independently - its part of what sports can teach. Not sure having parents trying to make a play-date out of a soccer team helps the team or the kids.

If its about parents meshing - that's a different story (and not one I'd even try to resolve - too many crazy parents at soccer programs).

It shouldn't be about the birth year change either - team make-up changes every year - sometimes mid-year. There are always new personalities, and those that change even if they've played together a long time.

If your kid is in this to play and develop, all this other stuff is noise they'll learn to manage just like in school on the playground.

**Unregistered** · 06-17-2016, 11:05 AM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

I think the OP made a good point. It doesn't hurt for the team manager to arrange a pool party or a trip to the REVS and a tailgate or something along those lines. It gives the players and parents a chance to get to know each other in an easy going environment.

Agreed, something to break the ice goes a long way to jump start chemistry. Particularly on a younger team with a significant roster change or where old cliques or starting lineups are split with age restructure. Interesting situation this year, looking forward to seeing training ramp up.

**Unregistered** · 06-17-2016, 11:22 AM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

Agreed, something to break the ice goes a long way to jump start chemistry. Particularly on a younger team with a significant roster change or where old cliques or starting lineups are split with age restructure. Interesting situation this year, looking forward to seeing training ramp up.

Professional therapy is always an option.

**Unregistered** · 06-17-2016, 11:23 AM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

Professional therapy is always an option.

Shut up

**Unregistered** · 06-17-2016, 11:26 AM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

Shut up

No, you shut up.

**Unregistered** · 06-17-2016, 11:51 AM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

Agreed, something to break the ice goes a long way to jump start chemistry. Particularly on a younger team with a significant roster change or where old cliques or starting lineups are split with age restructure. Interesting situation this year, looking forward to seeing training ramp up.

I'm so glad I have boys. These type of changes are a non-issue. Girls soccer is more "social hour" for them.