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    Is it ok....

    Is it 'ok' to ask a coach why your kid wasn't put on the team a next level up? That is, why the B team instead of the A team or why the C team instead of the B team?

    If it isn't bad form, how do you start that conversation (without sounding like an *****)? Keep in mind, you don't know the coach who didn't take your kid.

    #2
    You're the customer. Ask. You might not like the answer but you're certainly entitled to an explanation. Don't go in guns a blazin' so the won't go on the defensive. And if your kid really wants to move up then ask the coach what the expectations are and how he/she can improve

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
      Is it 'ok' to ask a coach why your kid wasn't put on the team a next level up? That is, why the B team instead of the A team or why the C team instead of the B team?

      If it isn't bad form, how do you start that conversation (without sounding like an *****)? Keep in mind, you don't know the coach who didn't take your kid.
      Well, it is "ok": you are, after all, a paying customer. But there generally isn't much point. The answer will be some version of: I have other players I feel are better suited right now for the higher team.

      This could mean various things: 1) the coach believes he has better players in your kid's (projected) position; 2) the coach believes he has players with greater potential in your kid's position; 3) the coach believes your kid might be better but not better enough to displace an incumbent; 4) the coach believes your kid might be better enough to displace an incumbent, but not good enough to get nearly as much playing time as on the lower team; 5) the coach is recruiting outside kids he believes either have greater potential or at least will weaken a rival, while he believes your kid does not have enough upside, even if she currently might be better.

      Long story, short: the coach isn't interested enough to take her or assumes he can take her later if his need changes or her quality significantly improves.

      Talent evaluation is not a science, and coaches sometimes make real mistakes in evaluation of current ability or potential. They are people, too, with preferences and even biases that do not always translate into putting together a better team This happens in all sports, at all levels. Ignore the naysayer "haves" who of course want to believe that their kid's placement success reflects an expertly guided, almost perfect meritocracy. That said, many parents overestimate their kid's ability or potential.

      Advice: try to find a quality team where your kid would seem to have a good opportunity and solid coaching. Worry less about the difference between one level and the next (two levels is different--go elsewhere if you're convinced your kid is better than that). Try to identify, or ask a knowledgeable (somewhat independent) coach or observer to identify, your kid's weaknesses and strengths. Focus on addressing her weaknesses and encouraging her to become nearly the best player she's capable of being.

      As I told one of my kid's who has dealt with being underplaced: work harder and smarter, get better, and "Identify yourself." She's doing that--as coaches within and outside the club have openly recognized through word and deed, though the higher team's coach continues to chase and choose lesser players from outside. Annoying, yes. But since she's identifying herself, no major worries.

      Good luck.

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
        Well, it is "ok": you are, after all, a paying customer. But there generally isn't much point. The answer will be some version of: I have other players I feel are better suited right now for the higher team.

        This could mean various things: 1) the coach believes he has better players in your kid's (projected) position; 2) the coach believes he has players with greater potential in your kid's position; 3) the coach believes your kid might be better but not better enough to displace an incumbent; 4) the coach believes your kid might be better enough to displace an incumbent, but not good enough to get nearly as much playing time as on the lower team; 5) the coach is recruiting outside kids he believes either have greater potential or at least will weaken a rival, while he believes your kid does not have enough upside, even if she currently might be better.

        Long story, short: the coach isn't interested enough to take her or assumes he can take her later if his need changes or her quality significantly improves.

        Talent evaluation is not a science, and coaches sometimes make real mistakes in evaluation of current ability or potential. They are people, too, with preferences and even biases that do not always translate into putting together a better team This happens in all sports, at all levels. Ignore the naysayer "haves" who of course want to believe that their kid's placement success reflects an expertly guided, almost perfect meritocracy. That said, many parents overestimate their kid's ability or potential.

        Advice: try to find a quality team where your kid would seem to have a good opportunity and solid coaching. Worry less about the difference between one level and the next (two levels is different--go elsewhere if you're convinced your kid is better than that). Try to identify, or ask a knowledgeable (somewhat independent) coach or observer to identify, your kid's weaknesses and strengths. Focus on addressing her weaknesses and encouraging her to become nearly the best player she's capable of being.

        As I told one of my kid's who has dealt with being underplaced: work harder and smarter, get better, and "Identify yourself." She's doing that--as coaches within and outside the club have openly recognized through word and deed, though the higher team's coach continues to chase and choose lesser players from outside. Annoying, yes. But since she's identifying herself, no major worries.

        Good luck.
        "Lesser" in whose opinion?

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
          Is it 'ok' to ask a coach why your kid wasn't put on the team a next level up? That is, why the B team instead of the A team or why the C team instead of the B team?

          If it isn't bad form, how do you start that conversation (without sounding like an *****)? Keep in mind, you don't know the coach who didn't take your kid.
          no - especially if you're paying the fees. Ask in a constructive way. For example: "What can he do to make the A team next year?"

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
            no - especially if you're paying the fees. Ask in a constructive way. For example: "What can he do to make the A team next year?"
            Keep in context how well they know your kid. Tryouts, especially at big clubs are a forum that makes it tough to be seen. They miss a lot and mistakes are made. If you are already in the club, well you may want to consider another since you know hwre they have ranked the player already.

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
              "Lesser" in whose opinion?
              In my opinion; in the opinion of other coaches; as demonstrated ultimately by recruiting outcomes. Sorry if that minor claim is all you took away.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                Keep in context how well they know your kid. Tryouts, especially at big clubs are a forum that makes it tough to be seen. They miss a lot and mistakes are made. If you are already in the club, well you may want to consider another since you know hwre they have ranked the player already.
                It also might be good to wait until you're a few weeks into the season. The reason why your player was placed might become more apparent to you, or the mistake (if it was) more obvious to the coaches. Go watch the team ahead of yours play and see if your kid has a shot there. If you objectively think he does then ask what it takes to get there.

                Always keep in mind the risk or moving might be a lot less PT. Star on one team, bench warmer on another? Be careful what you wish for

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                  Is it 'ok' to ask a coach why your kid wasn't put on the team a next level up? That is, why the B team instead of the A team or why the C team instead of the B team?

                  If it isn't bad form, how do you start that conversation (without sounding like an *****)? Keep in mind, you don't know the coach who didn't take your kid.
                  Better for the player to pose this question, with the aim of finding a thing or two to work on.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                    It also might be good to wait until you're a few weeks into the season. The reason why your player was placed might become more apparent to you, or the mistake (if it was) more obvious to the coaches. Go watch the team ahead of yours play and see if your kid has a shot there. If you objectively think he does then ask what it takes to get there.

                    Always keep in mind the risk or moving might be a lot less PT. Star on one team, bench warmer on another? Be careful what you wish for
                    True. Won't play as much

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                      In my opinion; in the opinion of other coaches; as demonstrated ultimately by recruiting outcomes. Sorry if that minor claim is all you took away.
                      Lesser is the only claim you have and it is the entire crux of your argument.
                      And I highly doubt other coaches in the club will officially share your opinion.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                        Lesser is the only claim you have and it is the entire crux of your argument.
                        And I highly doubt other coaches in the club will officially share your opinion.
                        1) You have a serious problem with reading comprehension and logic. (Trust me: I'm kind of in that business.)
                        2) Your baseless speculation is, not surprisingly, wrong.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                          1) You have a serious problem with reading comprehension and logic. (Trust me: I'm kind of in that business.)
                          2) Your baseless speculation is, not surprisingly, wrong.
                          Are your glasses rose colored?
                          Or do you just have myopic vision?

                          Comment

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