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Ugly scene on Sunday courtesy of some ugly parents

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    Ugly scene on Sunday courtesy of some ugly parents

    I was going to write the second part of my “changing clubs” post. Then I was going to write a recap on my team’s game on Sunday. Those are the things I planned to write today. But then before my boys’ game, I witnessed something so ugly that I decided everything else could wait a day.

    http://acoachinglife.wordpress.com/2...-ugly-parents/

    #2
    I liked the comment to the article.

    "I think what everone is missing here is a total lack of responsibility on your part. If you did see this abuse occurring, why didn’t you or another parent step up and ask these rude parents to stop harrasing the poor kid. If you really thought she was only 15 why didn’t you do the right thing and intervene. You had the opportunity to show these abusive parents how out of control they are. By doing nothing and writing about it after the fact is just as bad as condoning their behavior during the game."

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
      I liked the comment to the article.

      "I think what everone is missing here is a total lack of responsibility on your part. If you did see this abuse occurring, why didn’t you or another parent step up and ask these rude parents to stop harrasing the poor kid. If you really thought she was only 15 why didn’t you do the right thing and intervene. You had the opportunity to show these abusive parents how out of control they are. By doing nothing and writing about it after the fact is just as bad as condoning their behavior during the game."
      I agree. And the Ref in charge should have stopped the game and made fools of those participating.

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
        I liked the comment to the article.

        "I think what everone is missing here is a total lack of responsibility on your part. If you did see this abuse occurring, why didn’t you or another parent step up and ask these rude parents to stop harrasing the poor kid. If you really thought she was only 15 why didn’t you do the right thing and intervene. You had the opportunity to show these abusive parents how out of control they are. By doing nothing and writing about it after the fact is just as bad as condoning their behavior during the game."
        Because just like what is posted here anonymously, not one of you internet forum bullies have the guts to confront someone face to face.

        Why did thos parents abuse the player? Because they could and knew they'd get away with it.

        Why didn't anyone try to stop it? Because they are gutless cowards.

        You're not sickened enough by it when it's happening and you can see what it's doing to the player to intervene, yet you can run home and write about it.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
          Because just like what is posted here anonymously, not one of you internet forum bullies have the guts to confront someone face to face.

          Why did thos parents abuse the player? Because they could and knew they'd get away with it.

          Why didn't anyone try to stop it? Because they are gutless cowards.

          You're not sickened enough by it when it's happening and you can see what it's doing to the player to intervene, yet you can run home and write about it.
          How would you know what I do or don't do?

          Comment


            #6
            This had to be the parents running up and down the side lines yelling at the girl .To intrefear with these people would of made matters worse.The reff should of steped in and said something.I hope the mothers yelling have a nice mothers day.

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
              How would you know what I do or don't do?

              Let's give it a couple of days and see how many eye witness reports we get of a compassionate parent stepping in and preventing the abuse.

              You're part of the problem.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                Let's give it a couple of days and see how many eye witness reports we get of a compassionate parent stepping in and preventing the abuse.

                You're part of the problem.
                I have several times and each time had all those parents turn on me. At least it takes the pressure/attention off of the ref.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                  I have several times and each time had all those parents turn on me. At least it takes the pressure/attention off of the ref.
                  Ok. Whatever you say, dude.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    ZT policy

                    Not sure if the league has a ZT policy but if I was the CR the situation would have ended in a hurry. Quick conversation with the coach of the team with the out of control parents. Either they restrain themselves or the match is forfeited. It is hard to definitively punish parents like this by any other method than taking their "binkie" away. And the binkie is a victory.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by Cujo View Post
                      Not sure if the league has a ZT policy but if I was the CR the situation would have ended in a hurry. Quick conversation with the coach of the team with the out of control parents. Either they restrain themselves or the match is forfeited. It is hard to definitively punish parents like this by any other method than taking their "binkie" away. And the binkie is a victory.
                      I've seen this happen before and I've also watched with amazement as it was nipped in the bud. The solution is for the club to sit down the team, with their parents, and tell them one more incident like that and the offending parent(s) and their player(s) are out of the club. All club's have some sort of policy against this kind of thing, so any of them can claim breach of contract on the part of the parents with this behavior. And no club should tolerate being placed in this kind of light by a few rotten apples. Read them the riot act then, if they don't clean up their act, throw them out. It is the club's responsibility, it's quite a simple solution, and it works.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                        I agree. And the Ref in charge should have stopped the game and made fools of those participating.
                        It is not up to the Referee to control parents and spectators. The only thing you can do, as a Referee, is abandon the match if in your opinion the Health and/or safety of the officiating crew is in jeopardy.

                        It is up to the Event Staff to control them, and if there isn't any Event Staff, it is up to any and all Club Representatives present, like a Team Manager. Of course, I have been in situations where the Team Manager is out of control, so the solution is to just abandon the match and leave.

                        Referees are not Policeman, and shouldn't be put in a position to deal with Breaches of the Peace , and even Disorderly conduct.

                        After a few matches abandoned, and parents are inconvienced , they'll eventually get the message.


                        After many, many years of Refereeing at various levels, it just isn't worth the risk engaging people that have no self control , and no respect.




                        In the situation described in this thread, there isn't any reason why an official should be brought to tears by a group of parents. If I was the Center REferee, I would have stopped the match, and brought the Officiating crew to the sideline. I would then inform both coaches that at the next instance of disobedience by the spectators, we will be leaving and abandoning the match.

                        Trust me when I say that this procedure works very well.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                          It is not up to the Referee to control parents and spectators. The only thing you can do, as a Referee, is abandon the match if in your opinion the Health and/or safety of the officiating crew is in jeopardy.

                          It is up to the Event Staff to control them, and if there isn't any Event Staff, it is up to any and all Club Representatives present, like a Team Manager. Of course, I have been in situations where the Team Manager is out of control, so the solution is to just abandon the match and leave.

                          Referees are not Policeman, and shouldn't be put in a position to deal with Breaches of the Peace , and even Disorderly conduct.

                          After a few matches abandoned, and parents are inconvienced , they'll eventually get the message.


                          After many, many years of Refereeing at various levels, it just isn't worth the risk engaging people that have no self control , and no respect.




                          In the situation described in this thread, there isn't any reason why an official should be brought to tears by a group of parents. If I was the Center REferee, I would have stopped the match, and brought the Officiating crew to the sideline. I would then inform both coaches that at the next instance of disobedience by the spectators, we will be leaving and abandoning the match.

                          Trust me when I say that this procedure works very well.
                          I have seen this procedure employed a handful of times and it always works. It is really too bad that Tazers can't be used because it would make for great youtube video but absent that alternative, forcing the coaches to deal with THEIR parents is the best solution. Abandoning the match should take place only after other alternatives have been exhausted. The last time I checked the games are for the kids and the goal is to play the game. Allowing a few parents to ruin the day for everybody only gives them what they want and that is control.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Zero Tolerance is merely a very specific statement of the intepretation of Law 5, the Referee. It is clearly stated that the home team coach is responsible for the behavior of the spectators. The referee can and should stop the game and request that the home team coach with the asistance of the visiting coach quiet the spectators.

                            It is expected that coaches be pre-emptive and stop such before being told by the referee.

                            The bulk of the referee recertification this year dealt with coach and spectator misbehavior.

                            Spectator and coach misbehavior is a major issue. MASC has had league officials spat upon by parents who were not happy with referee calls.

                            Instead of enjoying their children learning and playing, parents are attempting to determine an outcome that is "most favorable" for their child. If the escalation in poor behavior doesn't stop people will get killed at youth soccer games over calls and decisions made in games that have little to no real long term significance.
                            ==========
                            I had the priviledge to referee several games yesterday. The last game was a tightly contested BU16 game. The boys played very hard and there was the usual incidental contact and the normal fouls that occur when players go hard against each other. What was most gratifying was to see that the boys played also with a true spirit of sportsmanship. When play was stopped due to an injury, on the restart by a drop ball the players on one team told the other that they would kick the ball to the opposing team's keeper since that team had lost advantage. This is playing in the spirit and tradition of the game. Parents can be proud of alll of the young men on the pitch who showed an appreciation for the spirit of the game and good character through out. It is such games that give me hope for my children and the world they are inheriting.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by MASC View Post
                              Zero Tolerance is merely a very specific statement of the intepretation of Law 5, the Referee. It is clearly stated that the home team coach is responsible for the behavior of the spectators. The referee can and should stop the game and request that the home team coach with the asistance of the visiting coach quiet the spectators.

                              It is expected that coaches be pre-emptive and stop such before being told by the referee.

                              The bulk of the referee recertification this year dealt with coach and spectator misbehavior.

                              Spectator and coach misbehavior is a major issue. MASC has had league officials spat upon by parents who were not happy with referee calls.

                              Instead of enjoying their children learning and playing, parents are attempting to determine an outcome that is "most favorable" for their child. If the escalation in poor behavior doesn't stop people will get killed at youth soccer games over calls and decisions made in games that have little to no real long term significance.
                              ==========
                              I had the priviledge to referee several games yesterday. The last game was a tightly contested BU16 game. The boys played very hard and there was the usual incidental contact and the normal fouls that occur when players go hard against each other. What was most gratifying was to see that the boys played also with a true spirit of sportsmanship. When play was stopped due to an injury, on the restart by a drop ball the players on one team told the other that they would kick the ball to the opposing team's keeper since that team had lost advantage. This is playing in the spirit and tradition of the game. Parents can be proud of alll of the young men on the pitch who showed an appreciation for the spirit of the game and good character through out. It is such games that give me hope for my children and the world they are inheriting.
                              I saw this too at a BU15 game. Are you sure it was U16? If it was, then it's nice to know there there was good sportsmanship yesterday on two Maple teams at an age than tends to get ugly.

                              Comment

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