Only serious replies please

[Unregistered]

My wife and I are desperate and a good friend suggested we seek help on this website. He warned us that many will scoff, but at least one or two very knowledgeable posters will gladly chime in and offer very solid advice.

We are a true-blue middle class family. I have a pretty successful HVAC business and my wife is a 3rd grade teacher. She brings the brains to the family. We both were the first to graduate from college and we both have worked hard to get where we are. We want our kids to really value hard work. We live in a nice 3000 sq ft home with 4 bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms. Yes, we have a huge mortgage but we have great neighbors and feel safe. We are hard-core Trump supporters. All hail the Donald!

My wife and I both graduated from regional state schools. I graduated from Rowan in NJ and my wife went to Westfield State. We are both huge proponents of these types of schools because they are tremendous values, you get what you need, and there is none of the snot factor that makes both of us throw up. We haven't been able to save a ton for college and so we are pushing our 3 kids to think hard about the MASCAC schools. My daughter, who is our soccer player, is 15. We suffer no delusions about her getting a D1 scholarship and we certainly are not going to borrow the kind of money necessary to go for one of those insanely overpriced and overrated D3 schools that the professional class love to go on and on about on the sidelines. Please, I need to take a shower just thinking about it.

So, here's the dilemma. My daughter has been a strong player on a NEP level team for several years. She will be one of the best couple of players on our pretty good high school team her last two years. There is a NPL coach who has inquired about her periodically over the past year, and we aren't sure what to do. She wouldn't be a star on this NPL but she would be a a very solid contributor. She knows a couple of the girls on the team and really likes them. We're not unhappy with her current club but we don't know if staying will decrease her chances of having a strong playing career at Framingham or Worcester State.

NPL will cost us roughly twice as much as we are currently paying. We have two other kids to think about. What should we do? Btw, our daughter is a good student. She usually gets all As or at most one or two Bs and based on her PSAT she'll likely score around the 1250 range on the new SAT.

[Unregistered]

Sorry. Wife just read my post and says our daughter should get at least 1300 on SAT.

[Unregistered]

Lemon stars dreamcake.

[Unregistered]

Wait until your mother-in-law reads this post. As a solid contributor to this site, she will gladly chime in and give you a large piece of advice.
Go-Go Donald! Btw, why don't you change approach and start thinking out of the box, like ask your daughter what she wants for a change? Duh.

[Unregistered]

My wife and I are desperate and a good friend suggested we seek help on this website. He warned us that many will scoff, but at least one or two very knowledgeable posters will gladly chime in and offer very solid advice.

We are a true-blue middle class family. I have a pretty successful HVAC business and my wife is a 3rd grade teacher. She brings the brains to the family. We both were the first to graduate from college and we both have worked hard to get where we are. We want our kids to really value hard work. We live in a nice 3000 sq ft home with 4 bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms. Yes, we have a huge mortgage but we have great neighbors and feel safe. We are hard-core Trump supporters. All hail the Donald!

My wife and I both graduated from regional state schools. I graduated from Rowan in NJ and my wife went to Westfield State. We are both huge proponents of these types of schools because they are tremendous values, you get what you need, and there is none of the snot factor that makes both of us throw up. We haven't been able to save a ton for college and so we are pushing our 3 kids to think hard about the MASCAC schools. My daughter, who is our soccer player, is 15. We suffer no delusions about her getting a D1 scholarship and we certainly are not going to borrow the kind of money necessary to go for one of those insanely overpriced and overrated D3 schools that the professional class love to go on and on about on the sidelines. Please, I need to take a shower just thinking about it.

So, here's the dilemma. My daughter has been a strong player on a NEP level team for several years. She will be one of the best couple of players on our pretty good high school team her last two years. There is a NPL coach who has inquired about her periodically over the past year, and we aren't sure what to do. She wouldn't be a star on this NPL but she would be a a very solid contributor. She knows a couple of the girls on the team and really likes them. We're not unhappy with her current club but we don't know if staying will decrease her chances of having a strong playing career at Framingham or Worcester State.

NPL will cost us roughly twice as much as we are currently paying. We have two other kids to think about. What should we do? Btw, our daughter is a good student. She usually gets all As or at most one or two Bs and based on her PSAT she'll likely score around the 1250 range on the new SAT.

Ok, so this is a likely fiction but let's play the game shall we anyways, or will one of the resident trolls object to the profile because they think it's not "normal" enough to have a kid who is anything less than an Ivy prospect or have parents be swimming in money because they are a doctor, lawyer or investment banker or because the advice tends to be something less than go nuts with club soccer and chase the unreachable dream? Is this a discussion forum or this this just a platform for the intolerant liberals who can't stand any discussion that they don't agree with? Some times the best discussions on this site come about because the profile is much closer to reality than our resident trolls like to think and the discussion plays nothing more than the role of devils advocate while people work through different parts of their own decisions.

The biggest advice is to decide a couple of things before you start changing courses from what you are doing. First and foremost you really need to do a gutt check and make certain that club soccer is something that your daughter actually wants for herself and that she has the passion to stick with it when it starts to turn into hard work and sacrifice. If it is then ask yourself:

#1 - Why are you involved with club soccer? Is it more of a recreational or pleasurable pursuit for your daughter that you don't really see her going very far with or is it a means to an end towards a college scholarship or a possible career? Not that it can't be both but you need to decide how seriously you want to go after soccer. If the answer is that she is doing soccer without many expectations of where it will lead which it seems then the answer is very simple, you keep doing what you are doing and just focus on everyone having as much fun with the situation as they can. The chips will roll out as they may and you will not have fallen into the trap of following someone else's dream like so many club soccer parents end up doing. If you end up on the sidelines of a Framingham/Worcester State game you'll end up smiling because 99% of the parents on that sideline standing next to you will have made the same choices as you and everyone will be there just to have a good time and enjoy a game so you'll be in good company.

#2 - If soccer is a means to an end, where exactly is that end for your specific family and what is the minimum measures that you need to undertake to ensure your daughter gets there? The biggest mistake club soccer parents seem to make is thinking that all paths lead to the same end point and that they euphemistically need a sledge hammer to swat an ant. The club soccer world thrives on parental ignorance and paranoia which the clubs feed upon to encourage a full out assault on chasing scholarships because it helps them fill roster spots. In many ways this why you have so much negativity in threads like this one because many here hate to think that they might have drank the Kool-aide and over shot with their goal or not played the game as well as others because of it. Ultimately the process of figuring out what that minimum is for your specific goal often illustrates just how silly others were and it seems to threaten them so they lash out to protect their ego. What they never seem to be able to wrap their heads around is that if you have the means and desire anyone can blow their brains out on club soccer and not really worry about how things end up but that not everyone is in a position to be able to do that. Their efforts to cloud issues is exactly why everyone should want to have this sort of discussion. Everyone knows that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line so once you have a pretty clear idea of what your end goal is it really is just a matter of plotting out the interim steps needed to get there. Hopefully the rest of the discussion can be about the minimum steps a person needs to take and not a judgement on the end goal itself.

#3 - How much risk is my family willing to take and what sort of resources do we have to pursue your goal. When it comes to chasing a college scholarship, it's pretty true that you can't do it without spending some money. The big issue often is whether what you end up spending actually moves you closer to your goal or whether it ends up to be more frivolous in nature or really just because you are following the herd. If you can't see yourself affording the minimum or you aren't willing to take the risk to chase your daughter's goal then you really should reassess the situation because you might be wasting a whole lot of money by being penny wise and pound foolish only to short change your daughter in the end. You need to figure out just how much money and family resources it makes sense to allocate to dream that could realistically disappear in an instant because of an injury or evaporate because a young child changes their mind as they are apt to do and soccer loses it's importance with them. There are no absolutes, especially when children are involved, so be careful about mortgaging the family's future to chase a dream.

#4 - Is related closely to #3. Do you and your spouse sincerely believe in your daughter's dream and how much are the both of you willing to put into helping her chase it? Lot's of people think that money is the only thing that they need to put into chasing a scholarship dream when the reality is that is only a small fraction of what it costs. Over the course of time it will literally take thousands of hours and have to become a major focus of the family if you are going to achieve the goal. If you know that either of you ultimately are going to be unwilling to make the sacrifices, do yourselves and your daughter a favor by not even starting the chase because in the end you won't reach the goal by half arsing it and all that you did put into the pursuit will go for naught. Failure sux and you don't want to be the one your daughter blames if she comes up short on her dream.

[Unregistered]

^ holy sh it

[Unregistered]

lemon stars dreamcake

[Unregistered]

OMG, BTNT.

I knew you couldn't resist, but you were so intent on defending all of your past actions that you love to deny and attacking all of your broad categories of people you love to attack that you didn't even offer us any real help!

I told you she is not a D1 scholarship player. She does badly want to play college soccer. The question was simple. Move up to NPL because she might be a better MASCAC player if she does so or just stay where she is a level below what is truly competitive and challenging for her. Will moving up give her a chance to be one of the top dozen or so players in the whole MASCAC as compared to maybe a part-time starter or fringe player in that conference. And if she could be an impact player for Wheaton or Babson if she plays NPL what would you do?

[Unregistered]

OMG, BTNT.

I knew you couldn't resist, but you were so intent on defending all of your past actions that you love to deny and attacking all of your broad categories of people you love to attack that you didn't even offer us any real help!

I told you she is not a D1 scholarship player. She does badly want to play college soccer. The question was simple. Move up to NPL because she might be a better MASCAC player if she does so or just stay where she is a level below what is truly competitive and challenging for her. Will moving up give her a chance to be one of the top dozen or so players in the whole MASCAC as compared to maybe a part-time starter or fringe player in that conference. And if she could be an impact player for Wheaton or Babson if she plays NPL what would you do?

The interesting part is there is nothing in that response that says anything about any divisions at all. You just seem hell bent on just attacking regardless of what was written. At least you admit to creating the fiction so you could do that. That said, it doesn't mean the discussion is fruitless. Iis t's fairly obvious what you see as the goal. Why don't you ask yourself the rest of those questions?

What is the minimum you feel that you need to do to ensure that your daughter lands at that MASCAC school and is a solid contributor?

How much of the family's resources are you willing to put into the pursuit and how much risk are you willing to take?

Are all of you committed to seeing things through to the end regardless of how tough the going gets?

[Unregistered]

The interesting part is there is nothing in that response that says anything about any divisions at all. You just seem hell bent on just attacking regardless of what was written. At least you admit to creating the fiction so you could do that. That said, it doesn't mean the discussion is fruitless. Iis t's fairly obvious what you see as the goal. Why don't you ask yourself the rest of those questions?

What is the minimum you feel that you need to do to ensure that your daughter lands at that MASCAC school and is a solid contributor?

How much of the family's resources are you willing to put into the pursuit and how much risk are you willing to take?

Are all of you committed to seeing things through to the end regardless of how tough the going gets?

And you still couldn't muster answer. So many words, so many of them empty or tangential. The original post designated very clearly that the scenario was D3 and that D1 was not a realistic consideration.

Can a higher level of club/training yield a better and more rewarding D3 career? See, the question isn't just what it takes to make a roster but what it takes to make an impact on a roster and keep getting better every year.

And yes, I "admitted" inside of one page what you've failed to admit in 7-8 years. Want to set the record straight and at least generally admit that you've engaged in fictions over the years?

After all, you went into great detail about "the best discussions" and closer to reality than the resident trolls believe and the great value of such scenarios. Quite the elaborate defense for someone who denies he is Suzie.

[Unregistered]

And you still couldn't muster answer. So many words, so many of them empty or tangential. The original post designated very clearly that the scenario was D3 and that D1 was not a realistic consideration.

Can a higher level of club/training yield a better and more rewarding D3 career? See, the question isn't just what it takes to make a roster but what it takes to make an impact on a roster and keep getting better every year.

And yes, I "admitted" inside of one page what you've failed to admit in 7-8 years. Want to set the record straight and at least generally admit that you've engaged in fictions over the years?

After all, you went into great detail about "the best discussions" and closer to reality than the resident trolls believe and the great value of such scenarios. Quite the elaborate defense for someone who denies he is Suzie.

BTDT will always turn every topic and every question into "what is something worth" and then find a way to disparage every participant other than himself. The poster essentially asked if there is a correlation between a higher level of play and becoming a stronger player. Simple. What that may be "worth" is a different question and also quite objective. Therein lies BTDT's problem. He doesn't even realize he is changing the question because worth is all he thinks about. And he doesn't recognize that worth is subjective because in his mind he knows and therefore everyone else should consider whatever he decides to be an objective truth. An Intro to Philosophy course at Duke might have fixed that.

[Unregistered]

And you still couldn't muster answer. So many words, so many of them empty or tangential. The original post designated very clearly that the scenario was D3 and that D1 was not a realistic consideration.

Can a higher level of club/training yield a better and more rewarding D3 career? See, the question isn't just what it takes to make a roster but what it takes to make an impact on a roster and keep getting better every year.

And yes, I "admitted" inside of one page what you've failed to admit in 7-8 years. Want to set the record straight and at least generally admit that you've engaged in fictions over the years?

After all, you went into great detail about "the best discussions" and closer to reality than the resident trolls believe and the great value of such scenarios. Quite the elaborate defense for someone who denies he is Suzie.

You are one strange person. You complain someone being a broken record and yet how many fictitious threads like this one have you started to basically rant about creating fictions.

[Unregistered]

BTDT will always turn every topic and every question into "what is something worth" and then find a way to disparage every participant other than himself. The poster essentially asked if there is a correlation between a higher level of play and becoming a stronger player. Simple. What that may be "worth" is a different question and also quite objective. Therein lies BTDT's problem. He doesn't even realize he is changing the question because worth is all he thinks about. And he doesn't recognize that worth is subjective because in his mind he knows and therefore everyone else should consider whatever he decides to be an objective truth. An Intro to Philosophy course at Duke might have fixed that.

What is wrong with stepping back and asking yourself what something is worth to you? Taking a step back to assess ones goals and motivations before charting a course seems like rather basic advice. It is the difference between being proactive and being reactive. Seems rather foolish to give someone advice to rush into something without thinking it through.

[Unregistered]

And you still couldn't muster answer. So many words, so many of them empty or tangential. The original post designated very clearly that the scenario was D3 and that D1 was not a realistic consideration.

Can a higher level of club/training yield a better and more rewarding D3 career? See, the question isn't just what it takes to make a roster but what it takes to make an impact on a roster and keep getting better every year.

And yes, I "admitted" inside of one page what you've failed to admit in 7-8 years. Want to set the record straight and at least generally admit that you've engaged in fictions over the years?

After all, you went into great detail about "the best discussions" and closer to reality than the resident trolls believe and the great value of such scenarios. Quite the elaborate defense for someone who denies he is Suzie.

Whomever wrote that passage actually gave you an answer.

"If soccer is a means to an end, where exactly is that end for your specific family and what is the minimum measures that you need to undertake to ensure your daughter gets there? .. if you have the means and desire anyone can blow their brains out on club soccer and not really worry about how things end up but that not everyone is in a position to be able to do that. .. Everyone knows that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line so once you have a pretty clear idea of what your end goal is it really is just a matter of plotting out the interim steps needed to get there."

My own answer to your "Can a higher level of club/training yield a better and more rewarding D3 career" question would be that it won't hurt, I would just ask whether or not it is really necessary in order to reach the goal you have set out and since you seem to be the chief proponent of "education comes first" on this site I would also ask why having "a better and more rewarding D3 career" is so important? If the soccer part were truly a secondary priority with you and your daughter it would seem you would want to know what the least your daughter would have to do to meet her goal so she could put more of her energies into her academics? You seem to be flipping your priorities to support more involvement with soccer but then say that is not where you really want to head. That seems like a big disconnect to me.

[Unregistered]

You are one strange person. You complain someone being a broken record and yet how many fictitious threads like this one have you started to basically rant about creating fictions.

So is that a YES or NO on your fictions?